This being my second deployment, I have relived many of the tragedies, hurts, and annoyances that had faded from my memory after my first time here. The joy I have now is the anticipation of seeing my wife, son, family and friends. What I carry home from the hospital is the honor of having the privilege of taking care of very brave armed service members and innocent Iraqi children. I also carry some of the most horrible images of war one could imagine, which may hide in the corners of my mind, but will probably never leave.

There is a beautiful verse in Peter that applies to all trials and difficult situations and it has encouraged me through many dark times.

“After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” 1 Peter 5:10

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come,

The first event that I want to describe occurred last night before we started watching Spiderman 3 at the base theater. Before each picture that is shown a giant “Please Rise” comes up on the screen. Everyone in the theater dutifully rise for the National Anthem. The military is a pretty patriotic group and so the National Anthem plays as we all stand at attention as this is the standard. I have noticed at ballparks and other venues where the National Anthem is played, that often hats are not removed; many people will continue to talk through the song, but not here. About half way through the National Anthem, the film broke and the sound and background went off. The fully packed theater stood in silence, at attention, no one moved. One could have heard a pin drop as we all were waiting for the completion of the song we hold so dear. A few moments later and the National Anthem and the background film started again from the beginning and stopped in the same place. There was about a five second pause and then a solitary voice was heard and then hundreds joined in as the theater finished the Star Spangled Banner accapella. When we finished singing thunderous applause rose from the theater. It was in stark contrast to what usually happens as we usually stand at attention in silence and then sit down without a word. This night was special and all the people in the theater knew it.

The next event occurred a couple of weeks ago while we were loading a plane full of injured servicemen on their way to Germany. The plane was a C-17 which is a new huge cargo plane. It is well lit and is an absolute joy to work and fly on. It is especially nice to transport patients on. The only drawback about this plane is that it only carries enough litter stanchions to hold 9 litter patients. To allow us to carry more than 9 patients the plane carries a very large green box when it is tasked to do an aerovac mission, that holds additional litter stanchions. This box is about a 9 foot cube and has a big red cross painted on the end that points to the rear of the aircraft and is positioned all the way in the rear of the aircraft. On this day there was a three by five foot flag proudly displayed over the red cross. People are familiar with military members saluting the flag as it passes them in formation or stand when it passes in a parade. There is great reverence given to this symbol of our nation and freedom just like the singing or playing of the National Anthem.

We were about half way done loading the plane and I was helping carry an Army Sergeant Major, the highest ranking enlisted service member in the Army, onto the plane. We carry people onto the plane feet first and most just lie back close their eyes and hope we don’t drop them. In my personal experience of eight months of doing this I haven’t heard that we have dropped one yet. Four people usually carry a litter unless it is very heavy and then there will be six. Today myself and three others were carrying this soldier on and we had to pass by the giant green box with the flag facing him. His eyes were not closed and as we passed the flag and in what seemed to be an entirely natural gesture this injured soldier saluted the flag as he passed while lying on the litter. It is the only time I had ever seen it done and it brought tears to my eyes. As we loaded the Sergeant Major on the stanchion, I reached down and patted this soldier and thanked him for his salute. This man even though injured never lost his military bearing. What an example. I would guess that he was saddened by having to leave the fight, most soldiers like him are; but, I bet he was glad he was saluting it rather than being draped by it.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come,

The other night we had the Wing Commander Commander's Call for officers. This was to recognize our achievements during this rotation. As we were in our seats waiting for the room to be called to attention, my friend who is an orthopedic surgeon sat down beside me and explained that it was a bad day today as some of our men had died in an IED explosion. As we were discussing all of the medical issues, the room was called to attention. General Rand started his comments with the history of the 332 Air Expeditionary Wing. Those who serve in the 332 are known as Tuskegee Airman because it started as the Wing for the now famous black pilots. He went on to explain the recent honor the few remaining pilots received from President Bush. In recognition for their heroic efforts during WWII they were given the Congressional Gold Medal. After finishing his remarks Bush saluted the airmen, saying he wanted to offer the gesture to "help atone for all the unreturned salutes and unforgivable indignities" they endured. Bush then went on to say that we as a country were indebted to these men. One of the pilots responded that with this award the debt was paid in full. The General took quite some time explaining all that these pilots had accomplished and how "they had to fight for the right to fight". I feel indebted to these men for the doors they forced open for my son. General Rand then spent time speaking of the many achievements that were accomplished during our almost four months here. He thanked us for all we had done.

Next he paused and his voice quivered a bit. He then asked how many of us had spouses. About half of the room raised their hands and I could feel tears welling up. He explained that he felt that it is harder on the spouse than for the one deployed. They are the ones who have to keep the house and the children together while we are gone. They wait by the phones, struggle with the children, and have to manage everything. He wondered how hard it must be to watch CNN when your loved one is in harms way. He then said, "Please tell your spouses, I thank them for all they have sacrificed for you to serve here." He then asked how many have children and a few less people raised their hands. The General said, "Please thank your sons and daughters, for all they have done without by having you here." Deployments are hard on children and my family has not escaped the pain. Imagine a child lacking the security of whether a parent will ever come home. They live with a parent who struggles to keep it all together and watches them as they cry from sadness, fear or frustration. He then asked how many still had parents living and most raised their hands. My mom is overjoyed when I call and sends me cards and care packages frequently. I am quite confident that she has prayed more for me than I have prayed for her or myself. He said, "I think it is hardest on the mothers to have their sons and daughters at war. Please thank your parents for me." He then asked how many were grandparents and a few raised their hands. What he stated next rang true for all of us in the large tent. He stated what we are doing today has a direct impact on the life of the grandchildren represented in the room. Joseph Lieberman wrote a very articulate OpEd piece recently discussing that Al-Queda has left us with on one choice and that is to stay and stabilize the region from the terrorists. I would encourage everyone to read the short article. It can be found in the April 27 edition of The Washington Post.

The General explained that only 20% of the Air Force has been deployed to Iraq and thanked us again and reminded us of the honor of being a Tuskegee Airman. Over the past two years I have spent 8 months in Iraq. I thank all of my family for being such a wonderful support and on behalf of General Robin Rand, thank you. You have served me valiantly.

It is a true honor and with great pride that I can call myself a Tuskegee Airman.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come,

I remember when I was a boy of about nine years my dad had a friend who was a black belt in Karate. The story goes that he could catch a mosquito between his first and second toe. I don’t think this was true, but I believed it. I was amazed by this and I shared this story with my grandmother. She was not impressed and wanted me to be more impressed with my own father and how he had handled losing most of his left arm. I thought she was way off. My dad had just lost something; his friend Mike could do something very that was very cool!!

That interaction has stayed with me for over 30 years. While I continued my walking the half mile to the place where the wounded wait for the next flight (CASF) I thought about how the type of people I admire has changed with time. When I was a boy, before I became a Christian, I admired people who could catch mosquitoes in unique ways. I would also admire great athletes, television stars, or people who could easily get girls to like them. That was never my gift. When I became a Christian, I began to change who I admired. Now it was the Pastor of a very large church who had written books, the Christian music star etc. From the Bible I knew they were just like me but I wanted to meet them, have them know me, and have them sign something for me. As I got a chance to spend a little more time with some of the “big name” pastors of California, I became convinced that they were much more like me than they were like God. This is to take nothing away from them or to elevate myself but just an awareness of the mightiness of God. Now there are some people who hardly anyone in the world may notice who I admire greatly and there are those that are well known that I do not admire at all. What has changed? As I thought of how I would put into words my feeling toward the admiration of Man this is what I came up with: I admire people based on how much they allow God to accomplish things through them. These people are not walking advertisements for themselves. They do not talk about “their” ministry they call it God’s. They do not talk of “their” accomplishments they use every opportunity to bring glory to God for what He has done. They are walking billboards to the strength and power of a life totally dedicated to and truly transformed by God.

It is easy to see how we are becoming a society that worships men and women, be they Pastors, scientists, athletes, musicians or movie stars. John Wesley said, "Give me twelve men who love Jesus with all their hearts and who do not fear men or devils, and I care not one whit whether they be clergy or laity. With these men I will change the world."

I will probably never be a national hero, a rock star, or a NBA Hall of Famer, but I could be one of those men John Wesley described. The question I must ask myself is; am I willing?

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

The “them” that I underlined is referring to Babylon, which happens to be in Iraq. Medes is considered to be ancient Iran. I am not sure that this verse is specifically dealing the current time but it sure rings true. Now to be fair to the verse ancient Iran and Iraq have waged many wars against each other. One should also remember that the majority of the current borders were only recently drawn during the early 1900’s so what we think of Iraq and Iran may be much different than it was when Isaiah wrote such powerful words. Regardless it is a verse that is true today.

When I was in Yemen a couple of months ago there was a civil war going on. The war was in the North. My Yemeni interpreter was a devout Muslim and quick to say that he disagreed with Bush on just about everything except one thing. I asked him what the civil war was about. He was exasperated as he explained that it was a conflict caused by Iran who wanted to bring about a Shiite stronghold in the North. He went on to state that the Iranian agents had already forced all of the Jews leave who were peacefully living there as they had been for thousands of years. The Yemeni merchants consider the Jews to be the most skilled craftsman and silversmiths and make what are considered to be the best swords that are proudly worn on the belts of the Yemeni men. The one thing he agreed with Bush about was this: The US must not leave until Iraq is stable or Iran will try to take over all of Arabia.

The good news is that in the midst of all of the conflict all around the world the Creator of the universe is still on the throne and is ultimately in charge. What is happening here is no surprise to Him. “For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible or invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him.” Colossians 1:16 For some this verse may be confusing and may not seem like good news at all. The key is knowing the end of the story. We have been given the end of the story. It is found in Revelation chapters 19, 20, and 21. Read the book.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come,

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come,

On Easter, there was incredible act of bravery that few will hear of. There was a gun battle that was going on and an 18 y/o member of the infantry was shot in the shoulder. He was wounded and pinned down. His lieutenant saw that was one his men was trapped and injured. The natural reaction for most would be to run and protect yourself, being thankful that you were not injured. However, there is a much honored concept in the military and that is, “We leave no man behind.” It is not always possible; but, it is not just a lofty ideal. It is considered to be part of one’s duty. The lieutenant knew his duty. This man was one of his and as an officer; it was his responsibility to keep his men safe. It is also the officer’s duty to call the family if one of their men is injured or killed. This lieutenant ran to his injured soldier to help get him to the medevac helicopter which was already on the way. As he ran to his man, he was shot many times. Now the lieutenant was much more injured than the soldier under his charge. Now it was the soldier’s duty to get the lieutenant help. The medevac helicopter landed and with help from many others they were able to get the lieutenant and his soldier on the helicopter. On the short ride to our hospital the lieutenant’s heart stopped on the helicopter. When it landed the medic was actively doing CPR. The rest of the story comes from a nurse I work with as she was a witness. The first litter had the dying lieutenant with the medic on the litter doing CPR. The second litter off the helicopter had the soldier who had been shot in the shoulder, blood flowing from his shoulder. They both had done their duty. The lieutenant died. The nurse cried with the chaplain as they watched this event transpire.

This event is filled with tragedy, bravery, honor, and dedication to duty. As I think about the actions of the lieutenant I am reminded about the difference between our calling and our duty. I see our calling as the purpose of our life and the duties we have are those activities that allow us to accomplish our purpose. The idea of a purpose to a life is why I think “The purpose driven life” was such a popular book. People like to feel there is some purpose to their life. The lieutenant was called to serve his country, which was his purpose. He died while performing the duty of his calling. The purpose of a soldier is not to die; however, he may die while performing his duties.

I believe we all have a calling or a purpose. It is the path that God calls us to walk. Our unique “calling” has wonderful attributes of servant-hood, sacrifice, charity, and generosity. Our duty is what is required to carry out our calling. I often see people who have mistakenly thought that their day to day duties were their calling. I believe God desires much more from us. The people who consider their duties their calling are often frustrated. I think of the stay at home mom, the father who works very hard to support his family and does little else with his extra time besides bowling and watching sports on TV, the retired couple, or the young college student all who may feel unfulfilled. The matron, who cares for our orphans in Zambia, has a calling to care for orphans. The changing of the diapers, washing the endless clothes or feeding the infants is not a very glamorous duty and what keeps it from becoming an arduous task is that it is associated with a calling of service. I frequently hear of families that say that their calling is to their family and use this as an excuse why they cannot serve more. I would say that our responsibility to our families is an expected duty given to us from God. There are many who raise their families in addition to also serving on the mission field, feed homeless, or find some other way to serve, sacrifice, give, or comfort those in need. I know of a couple from medical school. He is a family practice doctor and she is a stay at home mom with four children. Shortly after finishing his residency they took their family to Kazakstan. They have a clinic for the poor, lead Muslim doctors to Christ and the wife has a great ministry to the local women. They are currently being threatened for their bold faith but remain strong and committed to their call. Often the fear of duty keeps people from their call and God is a gentleman. He does not force people to follow Him, love Him, or serve Him.
I am encouraged by how many families make sending encouraging notes to soldiers a part of their family activities. In the US it is easy for us to get caught up in lessons, sports, and activities with our children, but how many of those activities will bear any eternal fruit in the orchard God has given us to sow and reap from. I have become very sensitized to how meaningless many of our activities are that take up so much of our time. How much of what we do will last past the judgment seat of Christ, into eternity. “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of may be repaid for what he has done in the body, whether good or bad.” 2 Corinthians 5:10 and “Each one’s work will become obvious, for the day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire; the fire will test the quality of each one’s work. If anyone’s work that he has built survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, it will be lost, but he will be saved; yet it will be like an escape through fire.” 1 Corinthians 3:13-15
I wonder how much time in Christian homes was spent this Easter on coloring eggs, making baskets, hiding and finding eggs, getting pictures with the Easter bunny. I wonder in the same homes how much time was spent talking about the true meaning of Easter besides that which was discussed in church. Jesus has called us to be servants and what is meant by that is this; we are to be servants to others not to ourselves.

What is your calling? If your call is clear, the obstacles of your duties are to be expected and overcome by God’s grace. He uses these to refine us. We are put in positions of trust where we have no where to turn except God. That is where He wants us. He wants our problems to be bigger than what we can solve so we can grow in our faith and find Him faithful. “For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.” 2 Timothy 1:7

Daily I am reminded how precious and fleeting life can be as I see how weak skin, flesh and bones are compared to the power of gun powder. Everyday, not knowing the length of my days, I must ask my self, “Am I following my calling or just doing my duty?”

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

Before I left on my first tour of Iraq, I gave my wife, my mother, and my in-laws a Service Star Banner. What follows describes the Service Star Banner and is from: www.bluestarmothers.org

Display of the Service Star Banner first came about during World War I. During WWI and WWII most flags were hand made by mothers across the nation. One of the most famous flags was that of the five Sullivan brothers who all perished on the U.S.S. Juneau.

Each blue star on the flag represents a service member in active duty. A gold star is displayed if a service member is killed in action or dies in service. If several stars are displayed in one family the gold star takes the honor of being placed at the top.

Display of a Service Star Banner is done during times of war.

When my wife found out I was returning to Iraq one of her first comments was: “I will get out the star and put it back in the window.”

The star is a great reminder of the how many are effected when a service members goes off to war. To me the star is a declaration which should be acknowledged and acted upon. The support I get as a member of the armed forces is amazing. Even with all of the negative media attention, great Americans everywhere are deluging us with food, treats, clothes, toiletries, coffee and letters of encouraging thoughts and prayers. During Veterans Day and Memorial Day we are usually asked to stand for recognition. We are often acknowledged at sporting events. All of these are a great honor and very much appreciated to counteract all that is said on CNN or in most newspapers.

But what does the star mean to me. It means that my wife is a temporary widow, my son is a temporary orphan, and my parents have temporarily lost a son. Accordingly, I would ask that in following with what God has stated through out the scriptures and most clearly in James 1:27 ”Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep one unstained by the world.”

So the next time you drive by a car or a house and you see a blue star surrounded by a red border, consider what you can do to look after these orphans and widows. If you see a gold star waving from a proudly displayed Service Banner mourn with them.

In a letter to the Philippians, Paul writes, “For me, living is Christ and dying is gain. Now if I live on in the flesh, this means fruitful work for me; and I don’t know which one I should choose. I am pressured by both.” Phil 1:21-23a I put all of my trust in the Lord and would be honored if a banner with a gold star waved gently from our flag pole by our front door, yet pray that my star remains blue.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

Yesterday was Easter and a very emotional day for me at the Worship service. There are a few reasons that I think I was more emotional than usual. The first is the number of injured children I am seeing. The second is because of a very poignant story I heard about an 18 y/o soldier and the Lieutenant that tried to save him. Lastly, it is Easter and I am away from my family, not sure if I will ever see them again in this life.

Back to my thoughts about the Children of War, one of the reasons I have been deployed to the base I am at, is because of the increasing number of children we are we caring for who have been injured. I thought specifically about what is happening to them as I was reading in Proverbs, the seven things that God hates. Proverbs 6:17b states that one of the things that God hates is, “hands that shed innocent blood”. Side by side in the ICU are two children who were severely injured in an improvised explosive device combined with chlorine gas in Ramadi the other day. We have a one year old boy who had some glass pieces penetrate the back of his neck, but his main problem is the damage caused to his lungs from breathing chlorine gas. He has been on a ventilator for three days while we wait to see if his lungs recover. We are hopeful. The other child is a 13 y/o girl. As they were examining her in the ER the surgeon told me of how beautifully her toe nails were painted and she was found to be holding a flower when she was taken to the OR. She was taken to the OR to repair the left side of her face that was just about blown off. When I first saw her in the ICU her face was still covered with some blood and there was a patch of skin sown to cover where her left eye used to be. When you looked at her right side you could tell she was a beautiful girl, carrying a flower she had picked from a field. Now she will be forever disfigured. There is absolutely no doubt that these children’s bodies flow with innocent blood and the very fact that their blood was shed represents something God hates. I am wondering where Al Jazeera or CNN or BBC is to report this act of terror against children, or how they are being lovingly cared for by the “infidels”. Unfortunately, I am sharing about just two of a constant stream of children I see as a result of the terrorist attacks that continue to destabilize Iraq. That is one of the differences I see from the last time I was here. The number of injured US military is about the same, but the number of Iraqi civilians especially children has gone up dramatically. Where is the moral outrage? These attacks against the children at schools and markets were not aimed at the US military and if we leave the chances are they will only get worse. I asked my Muslim translator one day how believers of Islam can justify such attacks. He is very educated man and a devout Muslim. He explained to me why these types of attacks against Muslim children are not approved of by the Quran. I then asked him about what is the percentage of Muslims in the Middle East that feel the same way you do and he answered, “About two percent.”

As I stood and looked at these two children in the ICU I wondered what effect this will have on me when I return home. I am often asked how I deal with the difficulty of caring for severely ill children. I am able to process the tragedy of children born with heart defects, although there are still days I cry, much like Jesus did when He joined in mourning for Lazarus, even though he knew was going the raise him from the dead. John Chapter 11. I am also encouraged by the story of when Jesus is asked why a child was born blind and was it due to sin in the lives of the parents or the man. Jesus’ responds, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned; this came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him.” John 9:3 It is much more difficult to handle all of the carnage I am seeing. I think the ultimate answer is the same with the exception that man can do little to change the number of children with heart defects. However, man is directly responsible and will be held accountable for the innocent blood of these children.

What do I consider the ultimate answer? My ultimate answer I give for how I handle the suffering of children comes from five very important principles from my faith: 1) God is omniscient, omnipotent, and loving, 2) God knows the number of our days before our life begins “Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.” Psalm 139:16, 3) Children who die go to heaven regardless of their parents faith or whether they have been baptized, 4) God is allowing things to continue that He hates, for a period of time, because of the fallen nature of man, and 5) Man’s intellect is too feeble to understand the permissive will of God. “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding;” Proverbs 3:5 Because of #5 I place all of my trust in #1.

The uniting scripture I can rest on is this “But when the perfect comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known. Now these three remain: Faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13: 10-13

You see, as a physician, I feel God allows me to take part in His plan but not to change the ultimate plan He has for His Glory. I do not believe that I save anyone’s life with my medical care. That is the business of God. I see my role as a Christian physician to direct parents and patients to give all healing credit to the Great Physician. As C. Everett Koop so elegantly stated, “I can sew two pieces of skin together but it is God who sends the fibroblasts to heal the incision.”

Easter is truly the high-holiday for Christians. Without the Easter story, Christianity is just a nice story about a man who died. With Easter we see the Creator giving his life as a sacrifice for those He created and His perfect life as a human allowed Him to conquer death for all of us and gives us hope. My faith gives me hope to trust in the love that ultimately saves me…….and the children who die in war.

Solis Deo Gloria

4/4
0100: Land and keep engines running while maintenance checks out an engine that is
running a little out of specifications
0110: The engines are shut down and I go back to life support to turn in my night vision
goggles. Go to the bathroom and try to call my wife and let her know I am back
on the ground. Can’t get through
0120: Start walking back to my trailer, about a mile and a half
0140: Arrive at my trailer and drop my stuff go to the call center and talk to the lovely
wife
0200: Read my bible
0230: Defense system fires, I was awake but if I weren’t I would have been awakened
by the sound. Turn off the lights, it fires again, go to sleep
0710: Alarm clocks wakes me from deep slumber. I shower and get dressed.
0745: Head to the hospital for intensive care unit rounds in the radiology tent. Go to
ICU 2 where we have the children. Four children are on ventilators, another is a
baby with serious infections due to an immunodeficiency. A variety of children
are on the ward
0845: Finish rounds head back to the clinic to check email. Discuss politics and religion
1045: Head to the call center to call my mom and wish her a happy birthday, I couldn’t
get through earlier and I only have 15 minutes to catch her while it is still the 3rd
on the west coast
1130: Go to lunch
1200: Return to my trailer to take a nap before my night shift in the contingency
aeromedical staging facility CASF where we prepare patients for air evacuation.
1310: Lay down
1610: Alarm clock wakes me from a deep nap.
1620: Go to fitness center run 4 miles, 170 sit ups and 170 push ups
1730: Take a shower and change into my flight suit.
1755: Head to the clinic for a commanders call
1820: Go to dinner
1845: Head back to my trailer pickup a few things for my night and walk to the CASF
1900: Arrive at the CASF, check email and call the lovely wife and start laundry. It isn’t
very glamorous war stuff, but the reality is that you need to get your laundry done
or you start to lose friends.
1945: Start medically clearing patients for aero-medical evacuation.
2030: Go back to the operations building to drop off a piece of survival “gear” that I
forgot to give back after the flight.
2100: Go to hospital to clear a patient who was in a car accident. I check in on the kids
in the ICU plus another one in the ward
2230: Go back to the CASF and clear patients who just came in from bases scattered
around Iraq. Most are non battle injuries. Fold laundry
2300: Go back to hospital to clear more patients who just came in by helicopter

4/5
2400: Go back to the CASF and answer some more emails and work on this before I
forget all of the places I have been. The plane will arrive in about 2 hours and
scheduled to depart around 0450. No chance of sleep until we have loaded
the patients
0040: Discuss plan to load the patients with the entire CASF staff
0140: Back to the hospital to check on a patient who is supposed to go out on a plane
tonight but there is a concern that he is getting worse and might need to travel with
our Critical Care Air Transport Team CCATT
0200: Pt looked good and was resting comfortably. Back to the CASF, the plane, a C-17
will land in about 40 minutes and then once they remove the cargo we will load
patients. While the cargo is being unloaded, the nurse will give report and I will
be available in case the air-evac nurse has any questions.
0340: Arrived back at CASF
0345: Go to the hospital to clear patients who just arrived by helicopter. Three patients:
one young man with a gunshot wound to the leg and two others with non-battle
injuries
0410: Return to CASF, time to try to get some sleep, before the 0650 alarm clock
invitation to wake up.
0650: One of my fellow flight docs is my alarm clock as he appears to relieve me. I am
willing to admit, that I am still a little tired.
0700: Off to the hospital to round on the children before I get any more sleep
0800: In the radiology tent again to look at the studies that have been performed in the
last 24 hours on the patients in the ICU
0815: Go to ICU 2 to round on the children. There are five children here today. Three
are on ventilators, one was just taken off the ventilator and one is the two month
old with the immunodeficiency. I will write more about the children soon.
0905: Return to the CASF to grab my stuff.
0935: Walk home to my trailer
0945: Get to my trailer and prepare to take a nap
1015: Turn off the lights and go to bed, “Now Lord lay me down to sleep……….”
1200: Still asleep, (I wake up at 1320)

My life is probably better than most of the docs here. The surgeons sleep much less than I do. In 48 hours I got around 12 hours and 5 minutes of sleep over four different sleeping periods. Within those periods there are planes, controlled detonations and alarms that often interfere with restful sleep. This is pretty typical.

I have the honor of following my calling as a Christian physician here; however, a lot of what I do day to day is just a duty to fulfill my calling.

More thoughts on calling vs duty coming soon

Solis Deo Gloria

I wanted to describe a place and situation and see what comes to mind. The place I am thinking about is surrounded by a fence with razor wire on top. The guards around the fence are armed and can shoot anyone who attempts to go through the fence. Those who are on the inside are not allowed to leave unless the authorities say it is OK. They are housed at no cost to themselves. They receive plenty of food. They are told what to wear and when they can wear it. They are also told how and when they can exercise. They are allowed certain magazines and programs but are not allowed to have alcohol and drugs, although some bring it in illegally. They are told that they are there for a certain time and can expect to be released at the end of their time, but sometimes due to circumstances, they are kept for longer periods. There are dangers to being in this place and many of the occupants are capable of killing. What does this sound like? Some might think what I am describing is a prison. It is actually a military base in a deployed location. The main difference is that the occupants of the military base have volunteered to be considered for such duty. In the case of the national guard and reservists, many have left jobs back home and come, setting aside many freedoms to serve their country.

I thought of the analogy to prison as I was considering the remarkable stories of the apostles in prison shortly after Christ’s resurrection. The apostle Peter was in prison twice and he was miraculously freed. The stories of his imprisonment and subsequent freedom are told in Acts Chapters 5 and 12. Angels came and opened the doors and Peter left. To me a more remarkable story is the story of Paul. His prison experience is described in Acts 16.
“After they had inflicted many blows on them, they threw them in jail, ordering the jailer to keep them securely guarded. Receiving such an order, he put them into the inner prison and secured their feet in stocks. About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the jail were shaken, and immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone’s chains came loose. When the jailer woke up and saw the doors of the prison open, he drew his sword and was going to kill himself, since he thought the prisoners had escaped. But Paul called out in a loud voice, ‘Don’t harm yourself, because all of us are here!’ Then the jailer called for lights, rushed in, and fell down trembling before Paul and Silas. Then he escorted them out and said, ‘What must I do to be saved?’ So they said, ‘Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved-you and your household.’ Then they spoke the message of the Lord to him along with everyone in his house. He took them the same hour and washed their wounds. Right away he and all his family were baptized. He brought them up to his house, set a meal before them, and rejoiced because he had believed God with his entire household. When daylight came, the chief magistrates sent police to say, ‘Release those men!’” Acts 16:23-35

I find it very encouraging that Paul was given the opportunity to leave but remained because he knew he still had work to do. I wonder if I were kidnapped by the insurgents, and by a miraculous event was given the chance for freedom would I stay behind so the very testimony of my remaining would allow someone come to new faith in Christ. That is what Paul did. Paul remained so he could serve this man. What he served him was the Bread of Life.

I think about the military members especially the guardsmen and reservists who do not have to come but do so out of a willingness to serve. At any time they could resign, but chose to stay. They have entered the confinement of a deployed base in harms way and have purposely given up certain freedoms to risk their lives so others may see freedom and for those of us who have freedom to may remain free.

Further in Acts we read of what leads Paul on, “And now I am on my way to Jerusalem, bound in my spirit, not knowing what I will encounter there, except that in town after town the Holy Spirit testifies to me that chains and afflictions are waiting for me. But I count my life of no value to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of God’s grace. Acts 20:22-24

How many of us are like Paul and are willing to set aside our personal freedom, so others may have eternal life?

Solis Deo Gloria

More thought to come

A couple of days ago, I was walking into the hospital just as a helicopter was arriving with an injured soldier. When they take the injured off the helicopter they place them on a rolling stretcher. The man was being rolled through Hero’s Highway as he passed by me. He was wrapped in a Mylar blanket which helps keep the injured warm. There was a splint around his lower leg which was wrapped in an ace bandage and just his toes and top part of his foot was visible. His foot was blue due to a tourniquet that had been placed to stop the bleeding from a wound further up his leg. Every second or so, blood would drop from the splint and left a trail of blood splattered on the ground every 6 feet as the stretcher rolled into the ER where the orthopedic surgeons were waiting. He would then be prepped for surgery and taken to the OR and the damaged leg repaired. From the foot’s standpoint, it only knew it was in pain and was not getting enough of what it needed or wanted. The foot, if it could think independently would probably be shouting, “How about some blood down here?” “Don’t you see my foot is blue?” “I am in pain. I am throbbing. I feel my skin is about to burst. Can I get some relief?” If the foot were given immediate relief and the tourniquet was released, the foot would be happy for a short while. Then as the body continued to lose blood, it would become cold and blue once more and then would die as would the rest of the body to which it is attached. As I watched this soldier roll past me I thought, “There is a lesson in what I am seeing.” It was 1am the other morning when I realized the lesson from the “the blue foot”.

The blue foot couldn’t see the bleeding from its vantage point. It didn’t know that the body was at risk of bleeding to death. It didn’t realize that the tourniquet that was causing all of its complaints was actually saving the foot in the long run. The foot did not have the perspective that the medic did when the tourniquet was placed. The medic didn’t ask the permission of the foot, just did what was best for the body, knowing that saving the body was the only chance to save the leg and the foot.

The collective church is referred to as the “body of Christ”. As I thought about the foot being indignant as to how it was being treated and neglected, my mind went immediately to my prayers as a “foot”. There have been times when I have cried out in pain, whether physical, spiritual or emotional, and have wondered, why my requests were being neglected. As I look back, when I have cried out because of how unfairly I felt I was being treated, was my life really being saved, was there a tourniquet on another part of the “body of Christ” that caused me pain but would ultimately make me better? The blue foot has reminded me of a very important lesson that I seem to need to learn over and over again. God sometimes puts a tourniquet on a leg. He knows the injury and sees the bleeding that I don’t see as the foot. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not my ways. This is the LORD’s declaration.” Isaiah 55:8 “There is a way that seems right to a man [or foot], but in the end it is the way of death. Proverbs 16:25.

When you are a foot and the Medic is putting a tourniquet on the leg, listen to the Medic and you will hear “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10

Solis Deo Gloria
More thoughts to come

I just recently watched the movie 300. I do not recommend it because of its gore and demonstration of the sexual perversion of the King of Persia, Xerxes, but it was a great story of honor, bravery, integrity and self-sacrifice. There are other movies that have similar character values highlighted and are widely popular e.g., The Patriot, Blackhawk Down, Saving Private Ryan, We Were Soldiers, Gladiator, Braveheart and The Passion to name just a few. What these movies all have in common is men fighting wars against tyranny with the main character demonstrating the previously mentioned highly regarded character traits. These movies are all very violent and show men at their worst and at their best, which is required. To show the men of ultimate honor they must be counter posed with how badly men can act. Wars and killings are usually a common theme.

I thought about the idea of the honor of men being highlighted at their most trying moments as I was reading the account of the first Christian martyr, Stephen, in the book of Acts. There is a poignant passage as he was at the end of his trial and was about to be stoned. “But, Stephen, filled by the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven. He saw God’s glory, with Jesus standing at the right hand of God, and he said, ‘Look I see the heavens opened and the Son of God standing at the right hand of God!’” Acts 7:55-56 Skip a few verses and you here Stephen’s last words. “They were stoning Stephen as he called out: ‘Lord Jesus, receive my spirit!’ Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, ‘Lord, do not charge them with this sin!’ And saying this, he fell asleep.” Acts 7:59-60

It is interesting that Stephen death and final words were very similar to those of the Lord Jesus to whom he was going. They both died a very painful death. Two of the very last statements of Jesus are: “Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing” Luke 23:34 and “Father, into your hands I entrust My spirit.” Acts 23:46

As I look at the main characters of the men represented in the Biblical accounts as well as the movies there is a common theme.

300: King Leonidas and his 299 men fought against a million men and remained brave and steadfast in their commitment to defend freedom even if it meant their death

Gladiator: Maximus was betrayed and his wife and son killed. He died by treachery as he fought for the freedom of Rome from the tyranny of the Caesar

Blackhawk Down; Two Snipers remain on the ground voluntarily while people are being evacuated and voluntarily give their life so others can live. The two snipers ultimately die. Interestingly, “So others may live.” is the motto of the Combat Search and Rescue Squadron

Braveheart: Wallace fought against the tyranny of British Empire for freedom for Scotland and died crying out “Freedom”

The Patriot: Benjamin Martin who loses two sons as He fights for the freedom of the colonies

We Were Soldiers: LTC Hal Moore demonstrates the utmost bravery as he and his men fight against incredible odds to secure a mountain, in a conflict to keep free the South Vietnamese

Saving Private Ryan: The Captain Miller gives his life and the lives of many of his men so one man could return home.

Stephen: He dies for his uncompromising beliefs in the Lordship of Jesus Christ. As he is dying demonstrates no malice towards his killers, but rather asks for their forgiveness.

The Passion: Jesus represents the ultimate example of the best of men. He temporarily leaves heaven to come give His life through a brutal death so those who believe in Him can be with Him for all eternity. As He is being tortured, He has the opportunity to call for help, but He doesn’t say a word, even as He is mocked. If He had been rescued we would not have a Savior.

The stories of the men and movies that depict their acts are very inspiring to me and many others. I am daily talking to men who have risked their lives for the freedom of others and many have lost friends while fighting against tyranny and terror.

As much as I admire these qualities, they come with a price. To show great integrity, there must be great temptation to be dishonest. To demonstrate bravery, there must be a high likelihood of death and fear that would paralyze most. To be considered self-sacrificial you must be willing to give up what is rightly yours even if it means you go without or even die. To have honor that separates you from others you must have faced the most severe difficulties and remained true to ideals of honesty, selflessness, forgiveness, mercy and a willingness to give your life for others.

The other aspect that should not be overlooked is perspective. Stephen who knew what He was dying for. He was dying for pronouncing the truth about freedom through Christ. When men know they are fighting for freedom from tyranny, their character is elevated by the very nobility of their charge. There is no meaning to the height of character without the balance of the depth of treachery that it must overcome. When I dissect it to its most basic element, it seems that using Jesus as the example, freedom is what is most important, “Jesus told them, ’I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” John 14:6 He also said, “If you continue in My word, you really are My disciples. You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 He has set us free from the wages of sin [“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23] by sacrificing himself, being put to shame, dying an agonizing death and remaining silent while he was punished for our crimes. He voluntarily “took the bullet” for us.

The Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Airmen in Iraq and Afghanistan are risking their lives for the freedom of others. I would hope the fallen are remembered as demonstrating what is best in men and die with the knowledge that they will be regarded as men worthy of great epic stories.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

We have a variety of Alarms here at the base which tells us what to do when we are being attacked or have been attacked. When we are in Green, everything is good. We are not being attacked currently and if we have been recently attacked we are now safe to continue about our normal routine. Alarm Yellow is after an attack when we have to make sure the base is safe and that there are not any unexploded ordinances UXOs. We must remain under cover at this time unless you are on a team that searches for UXOs. Once “All Clear” is called we are then back to Green. Alarm Red is sounded when we are under attack. During this time we are to take cover and remain under cover until Alarm Yellow is sounded. The Alarm Red siren is a little disconcerting; however, what really gets your attention is when over the loud speakers you hear: “INCOMING, INCOMING, INCOMING” This means that the attack is in your immediate vicinity. What we have to do in this situation is drop to the ground and cover our eyes, ears, and head as best as we can. At this point you wait for the proverbial other shoe to drop. These episodes generate a lot of thoughts, as you can imagine, but the one that came to my mind the other day is that there is a word that is used sometimes in the US that can generate the exact same reaction from people. People will become frightened, flee the area, or just cover their eyes and ears until the threat is gone. What word could strike such fear in people? What could possibly send people fleeing when they live in the safety of the US? The word has two syllables. It is a simple name. It just happens to be the “Name above all names” Ephesians 1:21 It is the name that at the end of time every knee will bow to and every tongue confess that He is Lord. Philippians 2:10-11 It is the only name that has the promise of salvation. “There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to people by which we must be saved.” Acts 4:12 The very scary word is: Jesus. We are usually not scared of those sent to save us from destruction. When we are in a burning house a fireman is welcome, when our house is being robbed a policeman is a welcomed. When people in the old west were frightened their spirits were buoyed by knowing the US Cavalry was coming. This passage describes the man who carries this name: Wonderful counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6b Those attributes do not sound very scary.

There are members of my own family that consider any discussion of Jesus tantamount to hearing “INCOMING, INCOMING, INCOMING” Jesus knew this and talked about it when he described what belief in Him could do to a family. “Do you think I came to bring peace to the earth? No, I tell you, but rather division! From now on, five in one household will be divided: three against two, and two against three. They will be divided father against son, son against father, mother against daughter, daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.” Luke 12:51-53 He also knew that belief in Him would lead to others hating you. “….You will be hated by everyone because of My name.” Matthew 10:21b Jesus said to expect it if you were a follower of Him A lot of people can talk about spirituality or God today but few will allow Jesus to enter their conversation except in vain. Even Christians find themselves walking carefully when they are referring to their Savior. They can call him God for He is, but to call him Jesus acknowledges who their Savior is.

On a military base, especially in Iraq, there are a lot of very harsh words used. Curse words are used frequently and in a number of very creative ways: nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, commas, objects, indirect objects, etc. Most people will hear these words that not too long ago would have quieted a room, and continue with their work without giving the incredibly foul language a second thought. However, I say Jesus at the same level but in a reverent way and the room will become silent and you can feel the tension rise.

If as you read this you start to feel tension rise, what has happened is that the Mighty God is now speaking over the loud speaker of your heart and instead of the frightful “INCOMING” that I hear on this air base in Iraq, The Prince of Peace is asking a question “AM I COMING IN?” “Listen! I stand at the door [of your heart] and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and have dinner with him and he with Me. The victor: I will give him the right to sit with Me on My throne, just as I also won victory and sat down with My Father on His throne.” Revelation 3:20-21

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come,

I was clearing a patient for aero-evacuation the other day and witnessed a very touching scene. A soldier who had been hit by an improvised explosive device IED, was lying in bed, his face severely broken and bruised, ear drum ruptured, his eyes barely able to be opened, but tears rolled down his face as the chaplain held his hand and encouraged him. The chaplain held his hand for over 5 minutes as he ministered to this troubled soldier. I am not sure what the discussion was, but the main reason that soldiers cry after they have been injured is because they will not be able to return to their unit and they will leave their buddies behind. The other reason I have seen soldiers cry after injuries, is the question, “Why me?”.

In a trauma hospital where one sees the injured day after day, it is common to hear people ask, “What is the purpose of all of this?”. When people see apparent injustices, a common statement is “When I get to heaven, I have a lot of questions for God.” It is interesting that Jesus specifically addresses that very statement. Jesus encourages us with this, “I assure you: you will weep and wail, but the world will rejoice. You will become sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn to joy. When a woman is in labor she has pain because her time has come. But when she has given birth to a child, she no longer remembers the suffering because of the joy that a person has been born into the world. So you also have sorrow now. But I will see you again. Your hearts will rejoice, and no one will rob you of your joy. In that day you will not ask Me anything.” John 16:20-23 Jesus uses the birth analogy elsewhere when he is describing the earth before the “Great Tribulation” “All of these events are the beginning of the birth pains.” Matthew 24:8. I think the reason people want to ask God questions is that they doubt whether He is truly loving. It is common to hear people say, “If God is such a loving God, then why is there all of this suffering” Jesus’ response is simple. When you finally see Him, you will not have any questions. It will be absolutely clear that He is all knowing, all powerful, and all loving.

The other reason people often do not trust Jesus is because they feel that He has not answered their prayers. You can imagine how many prayers are being said by soldiers when they are in harms way. The feeling is: When they needed Him most, He was not there. Just a few verses later in John 16 you see Jesus explaining why prayers are not always answered the way we want them. He states, “Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask and you will receive, that your joy may be complete.” John 16: 24 The condition is that your prayers will be answered by God in order for your joy to be made complete. God is drawing us to Him or refining us once we are already following Him. He is not concerned with answering prayers for our partial joy or fleeting joy. He is concerned with our joy being complete. When those who have believed in Him and see Him after all of our sorrows in this temporal life, our joy will be truly complete, and there will be no questions just worship.

I am very thankful for people who will hold the hands of those who are hurting and comfort those who cry. Until we see Jesus face to face “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Rev 21:4

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

I have been thinking about three words lately and those are: courage, bravery, and heroism. It seems like they are often used interchangeably, but as I went to the dictionary for a precise definition I received an education. As I thought about these words, I thought courage was a willingness to be brave and bravery was when you really had to come through when things were scary or going very badly. Here are the actual definitions:

Courage: The ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action.

Bravery: Extreme courage in the face of danger or difficulty

Hero: Remarkably brave person

I learned that the words are a hierarchy, which makes their use not interchangeable at all rather degrees that must be assessed by someone. There is a hierarchy in the military as well. There are those who do not deploy; those who deploy to safe areas that could be in danger; there are those who deploy in areas of danger and get bombed; there are those who walk the streets of the bad areas protecting the innocents; and then, there are those who go out looking for bad guys. For civilians, those in the military are often called our nations heroes. For us in the military many of us do not feel like heroes. We have not done anything “remarkably brave”. Those who have to deploy and still carry out their jobs while bombs, mortars or rockets are falling would fit the criteria of having “courage”. I think this is where I would fit in. I recently received an email from my older brother. He said, “….glad to hear that you're not going up in the copters too much, one combat medal is enough don't you think”. The combat medal he is referring to is a medal I received for aerial flight during combat. It is a medal that requires acts of courage from the recipient. Flying in helicopters or airplanes that could be shot at, is considered courageous, so that is why I received it once I had done this at least 20 times. My reply to him will require some explanation. My reply was, “Yeah one combat medal is enough. Bravery and heroism are over rated as a volunteer. It is another thing if it thrust upon you.” I wrote this before I knew the exact definitions, but I think even then that I knew there was a difference between being courageous and being brave or a hero. I can elect to be courageous and go into harms way. I can continue caring for a person during an alarm red, when mortars and rockets are coming into the base. I can volunteer for that level of courage. I think bravery and heroism, is a much more difficult decision and has fewer volunteers. Courage of the level I have written about seems tolerable for me. To some it might not be, for others the activities I am involved in my not seem courageous at all. However, to take what I am doing and raise that to the level of extreme courage, that is a level most do not want to be involved in, much less raise your hand and step forward. These are often the tough decisions commanders make when they have to choose which men are going out on dangerous assignments. When God was picking warriors, he had people who were afraid go home. We have the same system, in a sense, in our all volunteer military. Those who are too afraid do not have to join.

One can see that if brave is extremely courageous and a hero is a remarkably brave person, then a hero has extremely remarkable courage.

I thought of one such person today. This is a man who knew he had an assignment to do but even to the last moment was seeing if he could get out of it. He had volunteered but as the time got closer to becoming a hero, the task loomed larger and the realness of the act he was going to perform was becoming truly daunting. The man became so stressed over the act he was going to be asked to undertake that he started sweating drops of blood, which can happen under episodes of extreme stress. The place this event occurred was in the Garden of Gethsemane; the man who had to make a choice was Jesus Christ; the task he had before him: take all of the punishment for my sins. He could choose not to do it. He could choose to have thousands of angels come and take him away. He prayed to his Father, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.” Matthew 26:39. Earlier, I wrote about a hero being a person who is willing to die for another. People often ask me why I love Jesus so much. Have you ever seen how a person feels about the one who gave their life so the survivor could live? Jesus died for me so that I could live for eternity. He had a choice, take all of the ridicule, pain and suffering of a horrible death of crucifixion for me or go back to heaven knowing I would never be there. It is humbling to know that He loves me more than I ever love him. He is my true hero. On the cross He demonstrated extremely remarkable courage and one more thing….Love.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

I was reading the Stars and Stripes the other day and saw an article that said a recent poll showed that only 28% of American’s thought we would win the war in Iraq. I found this very interesting considering I had watched “The Green Berets” the other day and was amazed by some of the similarities of the issues facing the Green Berets and what we are facing today during the global war on terror (GWOT). It was also interesting to think of what movies Hollywood was producing during the Viet Nam war compared to now.

First, I thought I should address the issue of when people say, “winning the war in Iraq”, what they really should say is winning the global war on terror. The war in Iraq has been won. The Iraqi government and the US government are not at war. We are in Iraq at the request of the elected government. We are no longer at war with Iraq. We are still at war with terrorists who are largely targeting fellow Muslims in Iraq. That is to say the war we are fighting in Iraq is the global war on terror. This should be shouted from the roof tops because what we are seeing and hearing from the world media is the framing of the discussion to appear that we have already lost and the coalition should pack up and leave.

During the first part of “The Green Berets”, there are a couple of Sergeants who are talking with the media and showing how incredibly smart and well trained the Green Berets are for the conflict in Viet Nam. The program is very impressive, but at the end, a reporter says, “My paper does not support the war. Tell me why we should still be fighting in Viet Nam?” The sergeants went on to explain all of the tragedies that were being carried out on the innocent civilians in Viet Nam and how we needed to be there to protect the innocent. The sergeant then asked the reporter if he had ever been to Viet Nam. The reporter answered with a sheepish, “No”. This movie was made in 1968 and President Lyndon Johnson was asked and allowed Hollywood to shoot many of the scenes with military equipment. This was during the height of the war and almost the exact same questions were being asked of the military by the media that are being asked today. The answers could almost be identical: 1) From the military, if asked why we are here: Answer: There are many civilians being killed. 2) From the media and talking heads in Washington: We could ask them, Have you been there, on the ground, outside the wire? Answer: Most would have to answer no.

I have come to believe that it is not the Commander in Chief that gets us into a “quagmire”, but rather the media who start to call it a quagmire and continue calling it a quagmire until the people believe them, through this type of not reporting the facts but rather analysis by the press they weaken the publics resolve and ultimately decrease the worth of the sacrifice made by the soldiers. Being a hero or getting a purple heart in a war that is considered a losing cause diminishes the perception of the honor of the act no matter how people may say otherwise. The soldiers of Viet Nam fought just as hard if not harder than those of WWII, but they do not get the title of “the greatest generation”.

Let me give you some numbers from previous battles. I will provide the link in case people want to study these numbers. www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_toll WWI 8,500,000 military deaths; WWII 24,456,700 military deaths (418,000 US); Korea 36,516 US deaths, Viet Nam 58,209 US deaths; GWOT around 2,600 US deaths from combat. Can you imagine if the US media reported the Battle of the Bulge or The Battle for Iwo Jima like it reports battles today? What about D-DAY? Surely if Roosevelt and Truman had the current media or even the media from the Viet Nam days there would have been calls for their impeachment. If it weren’t for the steadfast resolve of the US, the national language of France and Britain would be German and Japan would own all of Hawaii, not just a part of the island. One can see how few we have lost in Iraq, after years of fighting terrorists in difficult street battles and booby-trapped roads. Imagine what today’s press would have called D-Day.

As expected in “The Green Berets” when the reporter went to Viet Nam and saw what the soldiers were doing his mind slowly began to open and see the war from a different side.

As I look back at what I have written so far, I see a stark contrast from what I wrote during my last tour. During my last tour I spent a lot of time talking about the bravery and sacrifice of military members, most of what is on my mind now and what I write about is trying to help people to see that the cause we are engaged in here is just and honorable. I hope that this will be my last “thought” on why what the military is doing here is working, not a quagmire, and worthy of honor for the troops involved. I hope to return to writing about the heroism, bravery and sacrifice of the incredible men and women of the armed forces that I have the privilege of caring for.

The American public was patient during WWII, when 1,000,000 were injured and half that died. When 9,000,000 had died by 1916 and it seemed that the WWI would be lost or seemed at least impossible to win, no one gave up because the stakes were too high. The stakes are even higher today as it seems like madmen are procreating at an alarming rate. We must not lose our resolve. The war we are fighting is global.

It looked grim when Jesus was crucified. His disciples lost there resolve and fled. Then 50 days later the Spirit of God descended and the world was changed forever. The press is saying that evil has won in Iraq and it is useless to continue fighting, they have reported negative stories until the public has lost their resolve and are encouraging us to flee. I am willing stay as long as I must and continue to trust that in the end good will conquer evil and the Almighty who sees all, is ultimately in control of all, is still on His Throne.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

As I was walking along today, I thought about a principle I learned in my surgery rotation as a medical student. For people who have signs and symptoms consistent with an acute appendicitis the appropriate next step is to take them to surgery for an appendectomy. It was taught and expected that there will be a certain number of people who go to surgery who end up not having an appendicitis. In fact, the expectation was that a surgeon should have around 5% of the cases taken for an appendectomy to be normal, or else his index of suspicion was not high enough. The principle is that it is better to take out a normal appendix, than to wait until an inflamed one ruptures and increases the risk of infection and death.

This same principle applies to national security. I have heard many complain that no weapons of mass destruction have been found in Iraq so we are not justified to be here and for that reason we should pull out and that Bush should be impeached for lying to the Congress and the American people. Let me set the record straight with completely de-classified information that anyone could find, if they looked hard enough (a challenge to reporters).

There have been over 500 weapons of mass destruction found in Iraq since we invaded, and this is just the unclassified information. The weapons contained at least two different types of chemicals, both nerve and blister agents. The criticism and explanation why this information does not get bigger press is that these were old weapons and not evidence of a new weapons program; however, that still does not negate the fact that Sadaam was in possession of WMDs and could have used them against Iraqis or others. The second piece of information is that a gas lab was found in northern Iraq, which had new materials for making blister and nerve agents. These materials would have been obtained during the time Sadaam was saying he did not have an active chemical weapons production program. The last piece of information is that there are people who are Syrian and are testifying publicly of three places in Syria where WMDs from Iraq were hidden and are still there to this day.

We all look at our surroundings through our own biases. I look at my surrounding through the eyes of Christian and a physician. The way I view these events in Iraq which have and continue to directly affected me, my family, friends, and co-workers is that when there is a real concern the US must take action to protect its citizens. On rare occasions, the US has over reached, which verifies that we have a high index of suspicion; however, we are usually late when the pus has already started leaking into a country. There are numerous countries around the world that we have not invaded, because they posed little or no risk to the US or our allies interests. Before invading Iraq, this country showed many signs and symptoms of a weapons program that could have had a devastating effect on the world. Like the surgeon, the US decided to act and operate. I do not have the entire operative report but what I have found is that during the first part of the operation, there was “old pus found in the belly”. If old pus is left in the belly of a human, it will fester and eventually come to light when the patient is much more sick and much harder to treat. The treatment for pus in the belly is drainage of the pus and to make sure there isn’t any more pus around. Additionally, one must look for where the pus was coming from and stop its production. We are still in the midst of the operation and we are still looking for more pus and different types of pus.

Where this illustration breaks down is, when a doctor is operating on a patient the concerned friends and family are in the waiting room thinking and praying for the patient and the doctor. I have been in operations where the families patiently waited most of the day for news of the results of the operation. In this conflict the neighbors are adding pus to the already sickened body and some of the so called friends and families of the doctor are ridiculing the result before the operation is complete having grown wearing of waiting.

My recommendation as a physician is to trust those who are in the operating room and see first hand how the operation is preceding rather than those who are in the waiting room and want to go home regardless of whether the patients lives or dies.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

Every so often, we will have explosions on the base. When I was last here we had 152 in 120 days. They are usually mortars or rockets. Fortunately they rarely cause any harm to us because the base is so large. They do cause a fare amount of porta-potty damage. The other night there were quite a few explosion and it made me think of the National Anthem and the portion: ”And the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air”. The Star Spangled Banner, can be hummed by most, a few could recite the words and fewer yet can sing it well. However, what I have been thinking about is what the second verse has to say. Here it is:

O thus be it ever when free men shall stand
Between their loved homes and the wars desolation;
Blest the victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land
Praise the Power that has made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto, “In God is our trust”;
And the star-spangled Banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave

This is just a very small part of our very strong religious history. I am saddened by how often the strength of the conviction of our fore-fathers is minimized by revisionist history. The importance of the faith of a nation at war is clear from the second verse. The first tells us that the banner standing is an encouragement, the second tells us who deserves the credit.

Just like in the days of Francis Scott Key, Iraq has had its fare share of explosions, bombs and rockets. The other night on this base they “gave proof through the night that our flag[s] were still there”. Here, the Iraq and the US flag fly beside one another and the colors: red, white, and blue, do not run.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come,

Over the span of 5 days, I was in Iraq; Kuwait City, Kuwait; Dubai, United Arab Emirates; Addis Ababa, Ethiopia; Djibouti, and finally arrived at Sana’a, Yemen. Traveling like this has allowed me to see many different cultures in a very short amount of time. I also had a chance to read many different newspapers and to watch news from a variety of sources including an English version of Al Jazerra.

One of the most easily recognized differences is the dress. Throughout my travels, I saw everything from the most conservative dress, the Burqa, to some of the most revealing outfits designed, being worn in the same public spaces. The differences appeared to blend into a fabric of multicultural dress and seemed to be at peace with each other. Just a comment about the conservative dress that many of the women wear in the middle east; I do not find it as offensive as much of what I see in Europe and the US. I do not think the modest female is such a bad thing when compared to other extreme, of people like many of the glamour girls who wear very short skirts and do not seem to care about underwear. The conservative dress can be criticized for preventing a woman from expressing herself, but in this culture that is not always something that is desired. I was performing an echocardiogram on a Yemeni girl of 12. She felt great shame for having a man see her even partially uncovered. One thing is for sure, there is less temptation for men, as opposed to much of the west where hardly anything is left to the imagination. But enough of the dress, I was much more interested in what I read in the Kuwaiti Newspaper. There was a long article on how Kuwait and Saudi Arabia were working with the Iranian government to discuss how to bring Iran into a modern approach to Islam and not to continue to follow a traditional old fashioned view, which included violence and suicide bombers.

My next stop was Dubai, the headline on their English Newspaper there was, “US plans to attack Iran by the spring.” Dubai is an interesting place because they are all about making money and consumerism. UAE have the best hotels, biggest Mall, largest indoor ski-slope, and have made islands shaped like the globe and a Palm Tree to increase waterfront property. Their airport is a living entity at all hours of the night and prides itself on having the most duty free shopping of any airport in the world. Kuwait, Bahrain, and UAE share many similarities, the two most striking are incredible wealth and a relative peace compared to their neighbors. Iraq has more oil, better land, and currently a huge military presence, but very little signs of wealth or peace. So what is the difference? I see two separate problems with Iraq right now. Sectarian violence that took off 1 year ago after the bombing of the third holiest Shiite shrine in Samarra likely by Sunni’s and maybe more importantly, Iran destabilizing the area by sending in militants and weapons. In the Middle East there seems to be a choice that is separating the governments: Material wealth vs radical Muslim beliefs. I am not a great fan of absurd material wealth, but it is definitely easier to travel through a nation that wants your money rather than your neck.

I bring this up in the context of the US Congress wanting us out of Iraq regardless what the security situation is like. It reminds me of other great conflicts where the people lost heart in the midst of a battle. It started with Israel not finishing the job God had given them to clear out the land before them after crossing the Jordan, instead to this day they still live with enemies surrounding them. Others include: World War I and Germany returning just a few years later to fight again; World War II and Russia, that Patton wanted to finish, but instead we had years of Cold War; Korean War, now with North Korea; Iran taking our Hostages and Carter’s ineffectiveness; and Desert Storm and not finishing Saddam at that time. There is a long history of paying a costly price for losing heart in the middle of a battle.

A big division is occurring in the world. With rare exception, the world does not want to follow the US they want the UN to lead. It is globalism vs nationalism. Bette Middler said the hardest thing about being successful is finding someone who is genuinely happy for you. The US is suffering from the same attitude around the world, like a little kid the world is saying “you aren’t the boss of me”. But who will be the moral leader if not the US. The UN has shown itself to be all talk and little action even when millions are dying in Sudan.

Recently there have been bombs in Pakistan, India, and Malaysia, we are not there, still suicide attacks continue everywhere. The time we are in is historic, ideologies are at war and it is not for the faint of heart. God told Joshua after he had already promised the land to the Israelites, “Be strong and courageous, for you will distribute the land I swore to your fathers to give them as an inheritance”. Joshua 1:6 Interestingly, God didn’t say it was going to be easy. He said that Joshua and Israel as a nation were going to need to be committed to the path God was sending them on. The President said to us as we started the global war on terror that it was going to be long and difficult. The US public is losing heart, and their strength and courage they displayed immediately after 9/11 is waning. If this strategy of Iran’s is successful, it will continue beyond the cradle, and I have no doubt violence and death will once again hit our homeland. Many don’t remember how horrible it was to hear every night on the news, how many days Iran had been holding the hostages at the US Embassy. Can we afford to allow Iran off the hook again, as it wages a secret war against the US disguised as an insurgency?

I am currently in a nation that has an official state religion, which is not very friendly to other beliefs. The clerics that are pushing much of the efforts to destabilize Iraq, have said they will not be satisfied until there is an Islamic flag over every nation. Joshua found the people of Israel at a crossroads as well and gave this challenge. “Therefore, fear the Lord and worship Him in sincerity and truth. Get rid of the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River [Iraq] and in Egypt and worship the Lord. But if it doesn’t please you to worship the Lord, choose for yourselves today the one you will worship; the gods your fathers worshiped beyond the Euphrates River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living. As for me and my family, we will worship the Lord.” Joshua 24: 14-15

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

There is a certain purity in ignorance. Often when faced with a problem if all we know is the problem then our concentration is focused on the problem and solving the problem. The more extraneous details we are given, the more complicated and confusing a given situation may become. I have thought of this principle a lot as I see the surgeons operating on patients. The patients they operate on come in a variety of types. There is the wounded American member of the armed forces, typically, Army soldier or Marine, innocent civilian, adult or child injured as a bystander or involved in a non combat injury such as a motor vehicle accident, coalition forces, civilian contactors, Iraqi armed forces, or terrorists, which may be Iraqi, Iranian, Syrian, or another nationality trying to further destabilize the region. The OR is set up to have two operations going on in the same room and at times it has had an armed forces on one of the tables and a terrorist on the other. You can imagine how hard this can be for a surgeon and the staff who have been up all night, wondering; they are away from their family, missing anniversaries, birthday’s, graduations etc. to be busting there’s to save a guy who hours before was trying to kill “us”. There are a couple of ideals at work here, first there is the professionalism of doctoring and once the drapes go on the patient, faces aren’t seen and stories aren’t told, just bleeding that needs to be stopped, broken bones needed to be fixated, organs that need repair and so on. The purity of ignorance, is that once the drape is over the patient, the blood of child-adult, soldier-civilian, hero-terrorist, Iraqi-American all looks the same. There is a problem to be solved and the drapes cover the faces, and stories are usually quiet during anesthesia. However, there is a story that comes in with the patient and there is a time when the drapes are not covering the faces. Side by side, there is a soldier who was blown up by an IED and next to him is a terrorist who was found setting the IED and was blown up by a rocket or missile fired by those trying to protect and give freedom to the fledgling Iraqi nation. How do these doctors deal with this, well part is summed up by a quote from Abraham Lincoln that is written on the plywood wall of the tent where the surgeons rest between cases. “With Malice toward none, with charity for all…..let us strive….to care for him who shall have bore the battle.”

A friend of mine, who is one of the surgeons, and I were talking last night. I was seeing him off as he was returning home for a short time to bury his father who had died suddenly. We talked of what we have seen and the pain of caring for bodies burned, broken, crushed and mangled. We didn’t talk about which bodies, just the bodies we see regularly. I shared with him how I felt just before coming back to Iraq. I was at an Air Force training for operating in a field hospital. During one of the lectures for the doctors we were reviewing procedures for handling severe trauma and there were many pictures. The pictures immediately brought me back to Iraq, even though I was in the middle of San Antonio. As I watched the slides, I said to myself, “I do not want to see any more blown up bodies.” When I came back from my first tour here I asked my wife if Iraq had changed me. I didn’t really feel changed just wanted to see what she thought. She said, “You don’t let the little things bother you as much as you used to.” As I continued to watch the horrific slides, I realized I had been changed and had become much more sensitive to the trauma of war. It was no longer just a Hollywood movie with gory scenes as the slides brought back real memories of the injured, dying and dead.

As I go about my daily duties here, I do not think I am much different than when I am at home. I still laugh and say a lot of silly stuff……but today at church I noticed I cry easily. Because at the very heart of the matter this warrior is really just a child and needs time to jump up on Daddy’s lap and allow him to put ointment on my scrapes and sores. The scrapes and sores are on my soul and I do not ever expect them to be completely healed until heaven. This is probably one of things about war that those who have been a part of it can never really explain to those who haven’t. It’s not because we don’t want to, it is simply because it is hard to describe what it is like to have your soul scraped.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

It seems that almost every city in Iraq that is the midst of a conflict is called a Holy City. The days when there is violence is often called a Holy Day. What you do not hear a lot of is any challenge to what made this day or city holy and is there any means of supporting such a claim. The Buddhist’s made large statues in Afghanistan and considered them Holy and then the Taliban came and tore them down. When my wife and I were in Tibet, there were temples that were considered Holy and the Tibetans would travel hundreds of miles on foot as a pilgrimage to the Holy site. Recently in the news there is debate over rebuilding a ramp to the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. The Jews consider this Holy because it is the place where the Temple was built. The Muslims believe this place is Holy because this was where Mohammed went up to heaven.

In our post-modern world and belief system it seems that many people believe in one God who just has been given many different names. I had one of the airmen I am deployed with state that it doesn’t matter what you believe as long as you believe in something. This is a difficult time for many of us who grew up with absolutes: truth and lies, good and evil, right and wrong. The truth is that there cannot be a place that is Holy to one religious group and considered worthy of being destroyed by another group if we all believe in the same God just with different names. Christian’s believe that as Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6 And “For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 “For by grace you have are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift-not from works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9. This belief system is at odds with Hinduism, Buddhism, and Islam. When we all meet the Almighty God, some of us are going to be right and some of us are going to be wrong.

This idea of people feeling that they are just as holy as anyone else, is not new, and in fact, Moses had to deal with this very issue. Starting in Numbers 16:3-5 “They came together against Moses and Aaron and told them, “You have gone too far! Everyone in the entire community is holy, and the Lord is among them. Why then do you exalt yourselves above the Lord’s assembly?” When Moses heard this, he fell facedown, “Tomorrow morning the Lord will reveal who belongs to Him, who is set apart, and the one He lets come near Him.” In the morning they both presented themselves and this is what God said to Moses, Numbers 16:21, “Separate yourselves from this community so that I may consume them instantly.” It didn’t matter how strongly that Korath believed he was holy, what mattered was what was the truth. The truth is set by God and whether we agree or not it is still the truth. The truth in this story is that Moses was chosen by God and Korath was not and it was a lie to think that he stood in the same position as Moses did before God.

We find ourselves in a similar situation in the world today. The war on terror is a war of ideologies. One ideology is to make the whole world your convert and have every nation fly an Islamic flag. The other ideology is to allow people the freedom to choose what they believe. The latter is the exact paradigm God has given us. He has presented His Son as a sacrifice for us, but has not forced us to believe. When Jesus met people he did not force them to follow Him. He simply showed them signs of His Godly power and then gave them the option whether they would choose the broad road that led to destruction or the narrow road that led to eternal life. It was their choice.

The Bible talks about a day in the future just like the day Moses had thousands of years ago. Matt 25:31-34 “When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. All of the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, just as a Shepard separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.’” “Then He will say to those on the left, ‘Depart from Me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the Devil and his angels.’” Matt 25:41

No matter what people, the media, or books say, there is truth and lies, good and evil, right and wrong, heaven and hell. There is one Holy God and we need to be on the right side…….with the sheep.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come,

They recently replaced a flag at the hospital. It lines the underside of a covering that the injured pass through as they come off the helicopters to enter the hospital. The flag is very large. I would say it is around 12 by 20 feet. It is majestic and glorious. The covering is aptly named Heroes Highway. The injured often come on stretchers on their backs and if they are able they can see the flag welcome them to the hospital. The walking wounded limp beneath its protection.

The US flag is an incredible symbol. I have one in my room that was with me during my last tour. I know this may sound strange but as a kid if I could have been an inanimate object it would have been the US flag. I remember being at a Lakers basketball game and everyone standing in respect as it waved so proudly as the National anthem played. I recently saw the picture Flags of Our Fathers. This movie is about the flag that was raised in Iwo Jima. The battle for Iwo Jima, which took weeks, was very difficult and much more costly in lives than this current struggles has been in years. When the first flag was raised on top of that hard fought for hill, it buoyed the spirits of the men and they celebrated. The movie then spent the rest of the time showing how the military was making heroes out of some of the men who were there that day and using them as a way to sell war bonds. The men, some of whom were not or did not feel like heroes, tried to get this point across again and again, but without success.

As I watched the movie I started to think about what makes a true hero. I believe the word has been so over used in our society that it has lost much of its meaning. We often call the military, police, coast guard and firefighters heroes. Why? I believe the common thread is that they all risk their lives for others. Some of those they are trying to save would not extend them the same effort. Jesus said, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13 As I thought about this more, I realized the hero is demonstrating the greatest type of love and why we hold these people up and even idolize them is because they have put into human action what many of us would like to be able to give but have failed to show to even our most loved. When people are in the presence of a hero there is a natural desire to stand to honor them.

It is a desire in our hearts to do a heroic act, which is because Jesus Christ is calling us to do what He did when He laid down His life for us, so that we may live, not only on earth but for eternity. Jesus gave us the example of what it means to be a hero. Imagine how many lives he has saved and will save from: sin, despair, heartache, loneliness, and eternal separation from God, for any who will believe in Him.

The other night we had a very injured soldier come into the hospital. He was rushed to the operating room and the doctors, nurses, and techs worked valiantly, but they were unable to save his life. His injuries were too great. This death devastated the staff. As they lifted the lifeless body off of the operating room table and carried him away, the entire operating room stood at attention. Why? Because when we are in the presence of true heroes it is natural desire to stand to honor them.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

The other night we had a call that an urgent patient was coming in from an outside base that was going immediately to surgery. We met the patient at the flight line. We backed our ambulance up to tail of the C-130, engines running. We boarded the aircraft to get the patient, a Marine, who was intubated (breathing tube inserted) because of his level of consciousness. The flight nurse and his buddy, another Marine, were taking turns bagging, breathing for, the injured Marine. We transferred the Marine to the ambulance and drove to the hospital. I took over the bagging while we traveled. As we got out of the ambulance and entered the ER, the docs, nurses, and tech were all waiting and descended on the injured like a group of mother hens all eager to help. I continued to bag as they set up the ventilator. There was a bright light in the ER tonight. It was a TV camera. There was a film crew from one of the networks who wanted to document what we did. They like to follow a patient all the way along the process: point of injury (almost never done, haven’t seen a film crew on a helicopter going to the scene of a newly wounded soldier), medevac (helicopter), surgery and stabilization, staging for aerovac (CASF), and then the aerovac to Germany and eventually home. This is done quite a lot. While I was here last time, we had at least four different crews doing just what I had described. They usually just stay at the Green Zone and Balad and do not go out into the field.

It is very flattering to have cameras around and have the press wanting to interview you but as I was bagging the Marine and I saw the bright lights I had another thought. It goes back to one of my favorite movies, “When We Were Soldiers”. The reason there is a movie is because there was a journalist who risked his life to document the incredible feat it was to take the “hill”. When the battle was over, a helicopter landed and a lot more press jumped out in safety and wanted to tell the story. What they saw were all of the dead and injured, but that was not the story. The story was the bravery that caused the death and the injuries.

Showing what the medical people do in a war is in a very real sense showing defeat. Concentrating on the wounded and how the wounded are cared for is very nice, but none the less focuses the light on us and the wounded not on the true heroes. Yes we work hard and have an incredible track record, 96% of people who make it to our hospital survive to make it home. Our motto is “We bust ours to save yours” and it is true, the medics keep the hospital open 24 hours a day 7 days a week with no slow down for weekends or holidays. It is easy to lose track of what day of the week it is because except for church on Sunday everything else is the same.

But back to the my concern about the publicity we receive; constantly showcasing the wounded and the deaths with the steady death count that is constantly spoken of on TV and printed in everything from local papers to the “Stars and Stripes” emphasizes the tragedy of a conflict without the balance of what has been gained. When was the last time you heard a news account about the number of girls in school, how well the Kurds are running their provinces, the freedom people have to disagree without the threat of their families being murdered, how about the young girls who are no longer used by Sadaam’s sons and then tossed aside, what about all the medical care that is given to men, women and children who are injured in normal traffic accidents. The cameras did not spend any time filming all of the humanitarian care we are giving. What about all of the heroism, when men jump on grenades to save their buddies. Most of the reporting from here is done from the safety of a base like Balad or from the “Green Zone”. Laura Ingram tried to talk about this when she was interviewed on NBC after traveling outside of the green zone and no one wanted to let her give her viewpoint.

The media seems so compassionate when they are filming the hospital but I doubt the purity of their motives and I long to hear the real story told by a reported who is brave enough to stand side by side with the real heroes of this conflict, the soldiers and Marines on the ground.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

Today in Stars and Strips is a short article about General Lynch, who is in command of the Army’s 3rd Infantry Division. They will be directly affected by Bush’s plan for more troops. It stated that the General had said “…war-weary American’s should “quit complaining” and prepare themselves for the conflict to continue several more years.” He went on, “I believe it is time for us to quit complaining and focus on our duty.” Lynch said it is not soldiers and their spouses who are complaining about the war, but rather people in “outside circles” from the military.” He then added, “If we let the American people realize…..that historically it takes at lest nine years to complete a counterinsurgency operation, then the American people will be supportive.”

I had recently read about another famous battle in history. It is recorded in the book of Exodus. It is the battle of the Nation of Israel against the Amalekites. Exodus 17:10-13: Joshua did as Moses had told him and fought against Amalek, while Moses, Aaron and Hur went up to the top of the hill. While Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, but whenever he put his hand down, Amalek prevailed. When Moses’ hands grew heavy, they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat down on it. Then Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other so that his hands remained steady until the sun went down. So, Joshua defeated Amalek and his army with the sword.”

It is interesting that nothing is said about whether if the plan were correct or if the troop strength were correct or if Joshua were a good leader, just the need for Moses to keep his hands up. The only thing that was important in this battle was Moses to show a sign of strength and keep his hands up. When he grew weary he needed people to come along side and help him to maintain the appearance of strength even when he was exhausted. When I read this story a few days ago, I immediately thought this was a beautiful example of what is happening in our struggle. The Amalekites could probably see when Moses grew weak and were encouraged, but when his friends realized that he needed support and joined in, Joshua and his army prevailed. Right now there are protests in the US Capitol. They are in essence pulling down the hands of the Commander in Chief. The protests are telling the insurgents that the troops here are not supported and the terrorists and the countries that support them are empowered and trust that they just have to keep up the small menace of killing a few here and there and wait for us to quit.

I am not prepared to quit and turn this country over to people who do not care whether innocent women and children live or die and think nothing of sacrificing them in open markets and streets.

The media has weakened our leader at home and abroad. Someone grab a stone for him to sit on, some others need to grab his arms and support him. All of us down on the battle field will continue to fight and care for the injured but we need the country to be: One nation, Under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all….sound familiar???

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

I get pretty weary of American citizens or our allies referring to George W. Bush as a terrorist. He is not a perfect man and he has made mistakes. I wonder if anyone could tell me of a man and/or president who hasn’t. Consider the leaders during WWII, Korea, or Vietnam. In retrospect, mistakes were made, but that is part of war and as it is aptly stated “Hindsight is 20/20”.

I wanted to go through my last 4 days and use what my days consisted of to dispel this notion once and for all, that the Commander in Chief or the military members who serve under him are terrorists.

Earlier in the week, I was asked to write the death certificates for some military members whose Helicopter went down. It was not easy and as I was going about the task, my thoughts went immediately to families who were grieving. This was also sobering for me as I have flown many times in the very helicopter that crashed and it was not difficult to see myself in their position. The next couple of days were spent clearing injured patients for aerovac. This is a 24/7 job. There are always helicopters coming and going, planes coming and going, patients being loaded and unloaded, techs, nurses, and docs caring for these wounded warriors. In addition, we are the place where the locals will bring their children and family members for care when they need it. In the past 4 days, I have been involved in the care for two children who have been struck by IEDs and were brought to our facility for care, I have also been involved in caring for two children who had head trauma following car accidents and one child last night who fell into a BBQ and severely burned her face, hands and knees. We had another young child who was shot through the butt and leg by a sniper. When I was helping one child the father came up to me and thanked me and looked up to the heavens and gave thanks as well. I do not think he thought of me as a terrorist. If your child was injured, you would not bring them to a terrorist or “The Great Satan” for medical care. The Iraqi’s appreciate the care they receive from us and hope and pray for more. I am just one doc retelling a four day period, consider how many docs we have and how long we have been here doing the very same thing. That is one of the reasons why the Iraqis will often plead with us not to leave. I have heard them say, “Please do not leave us”

That brings me to last night. I finished my 16 hour shift clearing patients at 7am. I went back to my trailer and got about 4-5 hours of sleep. After lunch, I went to write some emails and my commander stated that he needed me to transport a detainee to hospital where detainees are cared for. This patient was on a ventilator. He was on a ventilator because, he received quite a bit of trauma after he and his two buddies were caught by an attack helicopter setting an IED. He survived, his accomplices did not. After the incident he was picked up by a medevac helicopter and brought to us for care. He received excellent care and will likely survive. This type of activity surely does not sound like the work of a group whose commander is a terrorist. This is a story of a group of armed service members who do not take war as a personal vendetta rather a profession of arms.

As the nurses, techs and I prepared him for transport, one of the docs came up and in frustration stated that he wish he had just died. I understand that emotion. We see a lot of service members and civilians who have been injured, maimed, and killed by IEDs. A lot of resources were going to be used to care for this man who hours before was trying to kill us. I didn’t respond to him, just nodded with an understanding nod and thought about a higher calling. Jesus told us: “In as much as you do it for the very least of my brethren, you do it unto me” Matthew 25:40 I think this man qualified as the very least of my brethren. So as I struggle with the emotions of it all, I imagine, this is Christ I am caring for. And I try, but fail often, to “do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men” Colossians 3:23

I hope everyone can see the compassion of the troops, who are following the lead of their Commander in Chief. He is no terrorist.

Solis Deo Gloria

More thoughts to come

Before we departed the US, when we arrived in Qatar, and then again three more times when we arrived in Iraq we were all told about General Order 1 A. It is the special regulations relating to our behavior while we are in the AOR or area of responsibility. The basic idea of this order is to keep people acting appropriately in a combat area, the orders include: no gambling, no cohabitating with the opposite sex, no alcohol, no pornography, no drug use, no going into Mosques, unless escorted by a Muslim, no bringing in personal weapons, no attending host nation executions. Then there is one that reminds me of Sesame Street “One of these things is not like the other.” General Order 1A j. “No proselytizing or attempting to win converts to any religion, faith, or practice.” I thought about this last one when I was doing my daily Bible reading. I was reading in the book of Matthew 11:6 “And if anyone is not offended because of Me, he is blessed.”

In the last couple of years there has been quite a bit in the news about sharing one’s faith in the Military especially in the Air Force. There was a scandal at the AF Academy because of sharing faith. There has been a recent change that Chaplains can no longer pray in Jesus Christ’s name at official events only during private ceremonies e.g., funerals. The last few years you have seen more and more Happy Holidays and less and less of Merry Christmas. Interestingly, a recent poll performed by Zogby showed that more people were offended by Happy Holidays than by Merry Christmas. There have been some great books written on the subject: The Name, by Franklin Graham, The Trouble with Jesus, by Joseph Stowell to name a couple. These books deal with the war against Jesus. In our society, as it is OK to talk about God and spirituality, Jesus is becoming increasingly off limits. It is almost always because of Evangelical Christians sharing their faith that issues arise. People are offended by people talking about Jesus, praying to Him in Public, and sharing what He has done for them and what He has to offer. Most of the people who are offended have probably not read Matthew. If we are not offended by Jesus, then we are blessed. I doubt that the offended people realize that their offence that seems so noble and so pluralistic, is actually keeping them from a blessing.

I sense that the blessings of God are slowly being removed from the US and I think it is in part due to the offence people feel toward His son, Jesus. I am in the military and have taken an oath to follow my leaders. So what does a person, who has a belief system that at the very core calls me to share the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, do in such a situation? In words attributed to St Francis of Assisi, I will “Preach the gospel at all times, and if absolutely necessary use words.” In 1 Peter 2: 12 it states, “Conduct yourselves honorably among the Gentiles, so that in a case where they speak against you as those who do evil, they may, by observing your good works, glorify God in a day of visitation.” And later in Peter he continues to encourage us. “And who will harm you if you are passionate for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear or be disturbed, but set apart the Messiah as Lord in your hearts, and always be ready to give a reason for the hope that is in you.” 1 Peter 3:13-15.

So do I have a problem with General Order 1A? Not really, I do not believe that I can “win converts” to Christ, that is the work of the Holy Spirit. My challenge is to be a light that shines hope.

More thoughts to come,

Solis Deo Gloria

I have been thinking a lot about the depth of emotions lately. You can imagine with saying good bye to my wife and caring for the injured and dealing with those who have died or are dying, I am living in a sea of emotions.

One of my favorite war movies is: “We Were Soldiers”. The reason is, in part, due to the way the film handles the other tragedies of wars and that is the families who are left behind and must come to grips with the injury or death of a loved one. There is a scene at the end of the movie, where the door bell rings at the house of LTC Hal Moore. It is late at night and his wife looks out the window to see who is there. What she sees is a Yellow Cab, the exact type that delivers telegrams notifying the wives that their husband has died in battle. She starts to cry and demands that the children go up stairs. She opens the door only to find her husband standing at the door. Her emotions poured forward as she was transformed from a grieving spouse to a celebrating wife.

My wife and I enjoy watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition. In this reality show, ABC picks a family who has had an enormous tragedy and completely renovates their home and usually pays off the mortgage and gives the children college scholarships. There are always tears on both sides of the TV as those who had almost nothing are given just about everything they could ask for. If it were not for their desperate state, the height of emotion would not be there. Imagine Donald Trump receiving a 3000 Sq Ft home in middle America, with a 32 inch plasma TV, custom kitchen, bedrooms, and bath and a pool. I doubt that he would cry with joy.

I think that there is a limit to how positive our emotions we can be; however, I do not think there is any limit to how bad things can get. Imagine the worst thing that you could think happening to you. For a service member it is probably being captured and held like those in the Hanoi Hilton. Little food, beatings, sickness, loneliness, isolation; but then there is always a chance that someone could come and stick a needle in your eye and make it worse. What I am trying to say is that the height of the emotion is dependent on how bad things were/are not how good things become. I think about my goodbye with my wife. The tears come from not only the thought of separation for 4 months but for the very real possibility that I may not return. The closer I am to harms way the greater the depth of the emotion when I return. This holds true when someone who is not expected to graduate college, or make the pros, or survive cancer, makes it through triumphantly. We love those stories. I dream about the day when I get to see my wife in airport on my arrival. The harder and more dangerous it gets over here the greater it will be to arrive safely home to her warm embrace. Jesus talks about this in a sense when he is speaking about those who have lived horribly sinful lives and then have been forgiven by His grace and live victorious lives through the power of the Holy Spirit. Luke 7:47 “Therefore I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven; that is why she loved much. But the one who is forgiven little, loves little.” The depth of the transformation is what makes them love Him more than others who have been forgiven of less.

It is so nice to fantasize about the emotional high. The stories of highs that are made into movies. As I watch those movies, I often desire to have that kind of emotional high, but what I have realized and question more recently is whether I really want to go through the low of fear, loneliness, financial, physical, emotional and spiritual torment that make a story worthy of a movie. Sometimes we don’t have a choice and it is the life we have been given.

The next time you see someone in a military uniform come off a plane and see the family come running to them with tears in their eyes and hold onto them and never want to let them go, again, appreciate how low it must have been for that family and rejoice with them now…..it might be me and my wife.

Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.”

More thoughts to come

Solis Deo Gloria

In Dec 2006 Al Gore, former Vice President of the United States of America, called the Iraq war the “worst strategic mistake in the history of the United States”. Let me now take you to January 16th 2007. On this day I boarded a chartered DC-10 that was taking me and about 190 or so other Air Force members to Qatar and then onto Iraq for many of us. We were all leaving the comforts of home and our families. We were not sure we would come back. We left because it was our duty. Our Commander in Chief had sent us so we were on our way. When we arrived in Bangor Maine for a fuel stop, the first person I saw, as I exited the plane, was an elder gentleman proudly sporting a World War II Veteran cap. He shook everyone’s hand that walked off that plane. He was not alone there were many other Veterans of Foreign wars as well as well wishers without hats. They shook everyone’s hand and then applauded. They thanked us for our service to our country and wished us well. They had cell phones for anyone who needed to call family and had a shop dedicated to commemorating what soldiers had done filled with snacks and treats. The greeters shared their stories and wanted to hear ours. When we returned to the plane, they all lined up again and wished us well and shook all of our hands. It was after midnight before we left. The last person to greet us was the World War II Veteran. Imagine if your were leaving your family and friends and the comfort and safety of home. As you are preparing to leave you hear that you are about to be engaged in the “worst strategic mistake in the history of the United States”. How would that make you feel about the sacrifice you were about to make. I would imagine just about everyone reading this would say it would make it much more difficult. Earlier Senator Kerry accused the military of terrorizing Iraqi women and children in their homes. To say that you support the troops but do not support the war is meaningless drivel. Those comments showed absolutely no support for what the armed forces is doing and makes us feel as what we are sacrificing and dying for is a useless campaign.

In 2005 I wrote about a Patriot detail where we honor the fallen as their flag draped casket is loaded on the plane for the trip home. I was able to go to one such detail during my four month tour. The name of the service member was Spc Travis Andersen. As I looked at the items the greeters had in front of their store, I saw a large three ring binder. I was curious to see what it contained. I thought it was probably pictures that service members had given, instead it was the names of all of the fallen. I turned a few pages and then found the name I knew. My eyes teared as I thought of the day when his flag draped casket passed by and I rendered a very slow and somber salute. The greeters knew what it was like to fight for freedom and have lost friends who had given it all. They new how painful it was to remember the horror of war and live with the memories of: sights, sounds and smells that would never go away. The greeters supported us and we felt it. The hand shake and the kind words of the World War Two Veteran made me deem irrelevant the careless and callous thoughts of men without honor.

Politics stops at the waters edge, especially when US Service Members are in harms way.

More thoughts to come

Solis Deo Gloria

When I wrote my last Thoughts from the Cradle in September 2005, I did not intend for there to be anymore. I felt God had given me insights during a certain time and that time had gone. However, now I am back in Iraq and I am overwhelmed with thoughts from this “Cradle of Civilization”.

For those who do not now me I am an Air Force physician, my main job at home is to treat children with heart defects. When I deploy, I go primarily as a flight surgeon. My other skills of pediatrics and cardiology are used as needed. I have been sent to Balad Air Base in Iraq to serve both rolls. I will act as a flight surgeon, keeping fliers healthy and clearing the injured for aeromedical transport and care for Iraqi children who are injured and brought to our hospital, who require critical care skills.

I left my home on the 14th of January and the US on the 15th of January. I arrived in Iraq on the 18th. Leaving home for the second time was much harder than the first for me, my wife, as well as the rest of the family. The first time I didn’t know what to expect. What was it like to be gone for 4 months? How often would I get to talk with my wife and my son? Would I be in danger? Now I know and knowing made parting with me wife much more painful for both of us. As I thought of leaving, I was reminded of another great parting. This parting was not for months and was not even a parting of people. The parting I am thinking of and was reminded of during Christmas was when Jesus Christ left heaven and came to earth as a baby. He left the unspeakable comforts of heaven and came to our world. He left the constant fellowship with His father. He voluntarily and temporarily set aside many of His attributes as God to walk our earth in our vulnerable flesh. He left knowing that he was going to be in danger, He even knew how long he would be here and could foresee what His future held and still He came. When we as deployed service members leave our homes and feel loneliness, despair, and miss our families and comforts of home we are in good company. Jesus Christ the creator of the Universe has done the same

Then there was The Almighty God, the Heavenly Father who sent His son. For the families who are the senders; you have had to part with your husbands, wives, sons, daughters, moms and dads. The good news is you are in great company. The Almighty God knows what it like. He sent His son into a world that was much less comfortable than Heaven, knowing that His son would eventually suffer an excruciatingly painful death to atone for our sins. God is not a God who is far off. He is a God who is familiar with sending and being sent. He knows what it is like to give so that others may have life and that abundantly.

What an incredible plan of Jesus Christ and His Father to have gone through what we have gone through, so when we pray and cry out for help, we know we have a heavenly Father who is familiar with our state and can gently and lovingly reassure us from 2 Cor 12:9: “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

I will dedicate “Thoughts from the Cradle, Vol 2” to a dear friend, LTC Mark Murphy. I met him in Iraq in 2005. He was like a brother to me and encouraged me as I wrote 42 “Thoughts” last time. He died shortly after returning home, but now is in his eternal home. I miss him.

My name is Kirk Milhoan. I sign as Duke, a call sign, in memory of the surfing pioneer Duke Kahanamoku and the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I long for the day to once again be on a beautiful beach with my wife. There is a lot of sand here, but no beaches or surf and definitely no wife.

More thoughts to come

Solis Deo Gloria

The flight to Dover lasted about nine hours. As soon as we landed the honor guard appeared to take the fallen soldier from the plane. The C-5 has a unique feature. Because it is so tall in order to load or unload cargo the front of the plane can be lowered. When the plane does this it is referred to as “kneeling”. In order for the flag-draped casket to be removed from this plane, it would need to kneel. It seems fitting for such a solemn event that even the plane would kneel in reverence for the sacrifice of the fallen. As the door of the C-5 opened there was the honor guard, called to attention by their leader. I was excited to be back home; in contrast, the honor guard was somber as they performed the duty of honoring the fallen Marine. What a contrast indeed! Two members of the armed services were coming home. I walked with a renewed energy in my step even though it was after 1:00 am. The Marine was carried for transport to a waiting family and his final resting place.

I had hoped to be home on the 3rd of September. It was what my wife, many friends and family members had been praying for. Before I saw my fellow passenger on the C-5, I did not understand why God has chosen the delay. However, when my eyes saw the mourning flag, crisply tied to a stainless steel casket, I started to understand. God had taught me much during my four months in Iraq. He had taken care of me and my family, He had showed me the bravery of young men and women, and He had helped me to understand what my father-in-law went through during Viet Nam. I witnessed the very best and worst of what Man can do. I saw people literally blown up and I saw people risking and sacrificing their lives for others. I saw a people encouraged by the hope of freedom and a life free of tyranny. I saw Iraqi children playing with toys donated from people who had never met them and probably never will, in hopes of bringing joy and a smile to a face that had seen the horrors of war and an insurgency bent on stealing the freedom that was won with precious lives.

Two months prior to leaving for Iraq, I was required to receive training and qualify to use an M-16 in case of emergency. If a doctor is using an M-16 it is a BIG emergency. I met a physician during this training that was going to the same base as I was and she was supposed to work in the ICU. I told her I would see here there. During my time at my base, I had a few requests to screen children in Iraq with heart problems but I was only allowed to see a few due to safety concerns. I also never saw the doctor I had met. I just assumed that she did not deploy. Well, about six weeks ago, I was in Baghdad and eating at one of Saddam’s old palaces, which had been converted into a cafeteria for deployed troops and I ran into the doctor who I met during my training. She ended up deploying as the Physician Liaison to the Iraqi Air Force Surgeon General. We exchanged pleasantries and I thought nothing more about it.

About two weeks later I received an email that went out to a large number of pediatric cardiologists worldwide, asking if there were any military pediatric cardiologists in Iraq. I responded to the email and said I was in Iraq and would be willing to help if I could. The person who had asked was the director of a non-governmental organization called www.shevet.org. It is a Christian organization that works to obtain care for Iraqi children who need heart surgery. They have already helped fifty Iraqi children to receive cardiac surgery in Jordan, Israel, Europe and the US. Imagine this: an Iraqi child is helped by a Christian organization to get life saving heart surgery in Israel. Only the hand of God can work those type of miracles. The director of the NGO contacted a physician at the Ministry of Health for Iraq. I contacted the doctor I did M-16 training with to see if evaluating Iraqi children would be something that the Iraqi Air Force Surgeon General would support.

After a about a hundred emails, the screening was approved. I went to Baghdad and set up a portable clinic in the National Iraqi Assistance Center. I was able to evaluate 57 Iraqi children with complex heart disease in two days. Most of the children were blue because of a lack of oxygen in their blood due to defects in their heart. Of the fifty-seven, forty-seven need surgery. Twenty-seven of the forty-seven do not need any more tests and can be sent for care as soon as arrangements are made. The remaining twenty need additional studies before they will be ready for surgery. For eight children they were not candidates for surgery due to the severity of their disease and delay in treatment. Two children were in good health and had only minor heart defects that did not need surgery.

Over and over again the Iraqis were very thankful for what was being done for them and they did not want the US to leave. They felt that we were the only ones helping them. They wanted to reassure me that there are only a minority of people who are violent and most want peace and democracy. There were two school age boys who unprompted said to us, “Bush” and gave the thumbs up sign.

It was an incredible opportunity for me to show these children and their families that the US cared for them and it was all brought about because of God answering the prayers of an eleven year old boy named Wesley.

Thank you Wesley “…The Prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5 16b

Please join me in prayer for these children and their families.

Soli Deo Gloria

She could witness headless bodies of children floating in the Tigris River and view pictures of mass graves, one showing a child size skeleton still clinging to its mother’s leg. She should protest in front of families clawing at these graves with bare hands, tears streaming down their weathered cheeks. Tell any of those people that this war is wrong.

The popular phrase, “I support the troops and thus I am against the war,” is a slap in the face. It trivializes what we do and suggests that we are victims. We are not victims! It is imperative that these terrorists die quickly, and the troops here are ensuring that happens. We are proudly serving our country and protecting our families.

As I am “short” I have thought about this in terms of my own activities. A recent event that I was involved in highlights this point. As a flight surgeon one of our responsibilities is to respond to in-flight emergencies. The other day I responded to a call for a crew chief that had his ring finger almost shot off while inside the plane. An insurgent on the ground was shooting as the plane as it was preparing to land and one of the bullets made it into the fuselage and tore through the soldier’s finger before being stopped by his flak vest. Our ambulance pulled up to the taxiway just as the plane was taxing off the runway. The door flew open and out jumped a soldier holding his hand wrapped with a rag. He marched towards us and it was easy to tell by the way that he was walking that he was mad. As he approached us I could see a green cloth from the first aid kit that was absorbing most of the blood, although there was a trail of the red stuff from the rag to his elbow. As I reached him, he released a litany of expletives about what he wanted to do to the “person” who shot his finger off. As I looked at the hand it was easy to see that one finger was not where it was supposed to be and had a dull purple hue to it. We quickly got him in the ambulance and then to the hospital where he received pain medication and the orthopedic surgeons quickly attended to his hand. The good news is that they were able to save the finger and this soldier was able to walk away after being shot.

So should I avoid flying? That would decrease my risk of someone shooting at me; but also decrease my chance of giving aid to someone on the plane or helicopter. Should I only walk by the large concrete T-barriers that are set up to protect our trailers or maybe spend all of my free time in my trailer with my body armor on? That would decrease my risk of being hit by mortars and rockets, but would limit who I would be able to encourage through recreation and conversation. It seems that acting like I am “short” and changing my behavior to protect myself is to become self-centered. It also presupposes that my actions will change when God decides to take me home. What verse comes to mind regarding this situation? “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” Hebrews 12:1-3

How do I want to complete the last weeks of this deployment? I would hope to be able to speak as Paul spoke, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me the on that day-and not only to me, but also all who have longed for His appearing. 2 Tim 4:7-8

Soli Deo Gloria

A few days back a mortar hit a trailer that housed a service member. The mortar came right through the roof and basically demolished the room. It happened at night when the bed should have been occupied, but not this night. This military member had to pull guard duty once a month and this night was his night. The service member in the room next to him, each trailer has three rooms, had a lot of melting hot shrapnel enter his room; however, none hit him. It all hit his mattress instead.

Another recent event also is encouraging as I believe it is evidence of the hand of God protecting us. One of the planes that I fly on pretty regularly was just outside the base and started receiving small arms fire. There were many bullets that came through the fuselage of the plane. One came through underneath the pilot’s seat and stuck in the cushion. Another bullet hit right where two people are usually sitting on any other flight but on this day it was just holding a cooler. Another bullet would have surely hit the troop sitting in a chair however his backpack was positioned so it took the bullet and saved the soldier. Nine bullet holes no injuries and the plane landed safely.

How do I explain this? As I said before I believe it is God protecting us. I believe He is answering the prayers of so many who are faithfully holding us up before the Father daily. As it says in Psalm 32:7 which has been made into a praise song and is a title of an excellent book, “You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” Another excellent Psalm for this is Psalm 91. “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’” Psalm 91:1-2

Once again incredible examples of providence always beg the question of why do any get injured or killed at all. First, as I have said before, I do not pretend to understand the permissive will of God. The truth of the matter is that ever since Adam and Eve made their “big mistake” we live in a fallen or sin filled world. Wars are great example of Man’s fallen nature. Greed for power, stature, and money drive men to do heinous acts to others, even the apparent innocents of society. However, God does promise to those that believe: that he will never leave us or forsake us. Hebrews 13:5 He also states through Paul in Romans 8:38-39, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all of creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.” From this verse one can see that how God chooses to encourage us is not by saying that we will never die or suffer hardship. He encourages us by teaching that through any trial brought on by anything or anybody, nothing can separate us from His love. His love is obviously more important than our human flesh. His love transcends our physical body. I think we often feel if a Christian dies that is the most horrible thing that could happen. From God’s perspective, He is just welcoming a loved one home and into eternal peace and rest. As God says through Paul in the book of Phillipians, “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21

I believe whether we live or die we have God to thank. If we are kept safe from harm, for His protection; if we die, for the joy of joining Him in paradise; and if injured, the peace of a grace that is sufficient for us. The basic question that comes to mind is, “Do we trust that God loves us, no matter what the circumstance?”

I think it is clear from my writings that I believe in the providential power of God. I do not believe in coincidences and the Bible is full of examples of God directing events for His will to be carried out. The question remains: “Do we trust Him?” I believe if we trust Him we have peace that no mortar can take away and if we don’t trust Him there is no bunker big enough to calm us.

Soli Deo Gloria

As I left my trailer to go take a shower, I started to have a good old fashioned pity party. That lasted about ten seconds before one of my favorite sections of scriptures came to mind. The verse comes from the book of Lamentations, which is a perfect place since I was lamenting my current situation.

I first discovered this chapter when I was going through a very difficult time. It was a fiery trial. I can remember reading the 3rd chapter of Lamentations and as I read I was agreeing with Jeremiah. I felt my life was horrible and I could identify with these verses, “I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say, ‘My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord.’ I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.” Lamentations 3:17-20 These verses rang true to me and then Jeremiah surprised me. Just when we were really feeling sorry for ourselves, he wrote this, “Yet I call this to mind and therefore I have hope: because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The lord is my portion; therefore, I will wait for Him’”. Lamentations 3:20-24 Then, as I read further more wisdom came, “It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young. Let him sit in silence for the Lord has laid it on him. Lamentations 3:27-28. Well at this point I felt that I obviously had things to complain about, but that God would be there for me. Then came my final lesson from this chapter. “Why should any living man complain in light of his sins?” Lamentations 3:39

So as I walked to the shower tonight or actually early this morning in a lamenting mood, I heard God ask me, “Why should any living man complain in light of his sins?” Immediately I knew what I needed to do. I needed to stop dwelling on what had been frustrating and as God said through Paul in the book of Philippians, “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things…..And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9

One can imagine there is much to complain about in a combat zone; but my challenge and calling is to find what is true, do what is right, be pure and noble, and encourage love. If I am doing those things I will have little to complain about.

Soli Deo Gloria

The dog tags are another interesting fact of war. Putting on dog tags to come over to Iraq, has a sobering effect. (Military members typically wear them only when they are deployed) Wearing them admits: I may be in such a condition that I need this tag to speak for me. It has my name, rank, religious preference, social security number and blood type stamped on it. I saw a case that the tag needed to speak for such a man. He had been injured by an improvised explosive device, IED. There were hundreds of small injuries on his face. When the bomb exploded it sent melting pieces of metal everywhere and many had been stopped by his skin, muscle and bone. The injury had caused his whole face to swell. His eyes were closed shut. His lips were three to four times larger than usual. He looked as if someone had beaten his face with a meat tenderizing mallet; the type with the pointed ends. He would not have been recognizable even to his mother. Seeing him reminded me of the verse that foretold what Christ would look like after he had been tortured. “Just as there were many who were appalled at Him- His appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and His form marred beyond any human likeness.” Isaiah 52:4. “But He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities.” Isaiah 53:5. It hurt me to look at this man. Seeing him in this injured state reminded me of Christ. It reminded me of what Christ went through for my sins.

So how do the blood types and dog tags come together in my thoughts. It is the issue of the blood and needing something to speak for us. It is Christ whose blood can heal us, “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.” Ephesians 1:7 and it is He who speaks or intercedes in our defense to God the Father in Heaven. “Therefore He [Jesus] is able to save completely those who come to God through Him, because He lives to intercede for them.” Hebrews 7:25

When my dog tag was made, I would have preferred for it to say next to blood type: Christ’s Blood. Since that is the only blood that can truly save me.

Soli Deo Gloria

A lot of things!!! Bear with me while I set up some background.

The latest polls state that 61 % of Iraqis believe the country is going in the right direction. 58% of US citizens do not believe there will ever be a democratic Iraq. There are a couple of disconnects in the poll results. One is Iraqis are eye witnesses and the US is reacting to the news media, which is consistently showcasing the work of the insurgency. The other is that what the US population and what the Iraqis consider the right direction may not be the same thing.

I think what is discouraging the US population is the daily attacks of the insurgents and claims that we are making little head way in improving Iraq. There are some facts surrounding there current conditions in Iraq that are rarely discussed by the media. First of all, there is steady progress in the rebuilding of Iraq: power, water, education, sewage are all improving. There are two reasons why the improvements are not occurring more quickly: 1) Insurgents are purposely targeting projects that improve the quality of the Iraqi’s lives e.g., blowing up a water pumping station 2) Most of the reconstruction plans the US had counted on, included the work of non-governmental organizations or NGOs. Many NGOs had lined up to work on everything from medical care to education and were anxious to see the condition of the Iraqi people improve after years of neglect due to war and the greed and corruption of the leaders. As I have flown over Iraq I have seen probably a hundred palaces which are juxtaposed with slums. So what happened to the NGOs? Many have left due to the efforts of the insurgents targeting aid workers. I hope people can see how the insurgents are directly responsible for the lack of the Iraqi’s lives improving more quickly. What does the media report? The most recent report I saw was quoting the Council for Foreign Relations said the US failed to plan for the reconstruction of Iraq. I disagree. What has happened is that the insurgents have been very effective at slowing the reconstruction either directly or indirectly. It appears that they would rather have the Iraqi people poor, sick, uneducated, and under bondage, than free.

I once again ask why aren’t the Arab nations condemning the actions of the insurgents? The toll on the US Military is really quite small but the effect on the Iraqis is profound. It is clear to those of us here that innocent civilians are getting most of the insurgent’s wrath. Where are all of the “peace loving Muslims”? A recent poll in Britain showed that 25% of the Muslims living in Britain supported the work of the terrorist’s efforts in London on 7/7/2005. I do not hear very much from the other 75%. I would imagine that the number supporting the terrorists would be much higher in predominantly Islamic nations.

Why aren’t the rich Arab nations working harder to improve the plight of their fellow Arabs; since, it seems they do not want the US or NGOs to do it? The Palestinians in the Gaza strip are a great example of their failure. The living conditions have been described as deplorable. Instead of holding the Arab nations accountable, Israel is often blamed for the living conditions of the Palestinians. The failure of the Arabs to take care of their own has been repeatedly demonstrated since the 1940’s and they have been blaming Israel for their failure.

The reason I bring this issue up is because it is part of the history and culture that I believe is driving the current situation. With oil above 50 dollars a barrel many of the Arab nations have had a dramatic increase in their profits. Where do those profits go? In part to Palaces and lifestyles that are inconceivable to 99% of the population and obviously some make their way to financing the weapons of insurgents, everything from make shift bombs to bullets. Bullets like the one that ripped through the little Iraqi girl’s chest and severely damaged her left lung. It is clear that the US cares for the lives of the children of Iraq. We received this girl after the Iraqi hospital didn’t feel they could care for her. They knew we would and we could. The Coalition has hospitals that care for US soldiers, insurgents, and innocent civilians just like this precious little girl. I consider it an honor to be allowed to be a part of this girls care.

As of yet I have not heard of the insurgents opening a hospital to care for the all of the innocent people their bombs and bullets have injured.

Soli Deo Gloria

We looked together at the well bandaged leg. Where there used to be a foot now there was a stump. He said, “I know I have lost my foot, but I can’t look at it right now.” I asked if he would like the leg covered with a blanket and he nodded and laid his head back down on the cot. I covered his leg and made sure he was out of pain for the plane ride home.

I know a little of what lies ahead for this wounded warrior. My father lost his arm when I was a boy and I watched as he adjusted. One of the memories that stands out is shortly after coming home from the hospital, we were all at the dinner table and my dad was trying to get a piece of pie out of the pan. As he tried with one hand, the pan just spun not allowing him to remove a slice, finally, in frustration he threw the fork at the pie pan.

As I have thought of what lies ahead for the soldier who is returning home less than whole, the book of James comes to mind. Coming home whole is an expression that is near to my heart. My wife has asked me to do that. I hope that I can accomplish what she has asked but much of that is out of my control. God knows that we are not in control. So how did He encourage us for times when the trials of life seem to overwhelm us. “Consider it all joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4 It is interesting that God encourages us with His eternal perspective. He knows that trials will test our faith in Him. His concern is for us to be complete and to lack nothing. He also promises to be there always, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. So we say with confidence, the Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6.

What can man do to me? Well this soldier had his foot cut off. That is the temporal truth. What I believe that God is most concerned about is the eternal truth of our relationship with Him and where we will spend eternity. If we do not know Him, He is drawing us to Him. Often before we will come to God we need to be at the end of ourselves. We each have our own end of ourselves, for some it is a loss of a family member or friend, others it is a career, and still others it is there physical body. I believe God is much less concerned with this soldier’s foot than where his spirit will make its eternal home.

If we already know Him, He is refining us. I have felt some of Gods refining fire. I feel some now and I know there is much refining yet to be done in my life. God is putting us in the fires to purify us. As gold is heated and reheated it is purified of its impurities. I believe God is preparing us for heaven, through the trials of this earth. “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by His Father?” Hebrews 12:7

That is my perspective on all the tragedy around me. I see it as God either bringing people to a place where they must answer the question who are they going to put their trust in or He is refining those who are already trusting in Him. This is how I remain cheerful and optimistic looking at the face of a soldier with one less foot. I see a loving God drawing all creation to Himself. Although, I will confess that I look forward to the end of earthly suffering and when“…God will wipe every tear from their eyes.” Revelation 7:17

Soli Deo Gloria

Freedom for Iraq is what we are saying we are here for. People both here and at home often ask what are we really doing here and is what we are doing worth the lives it is costing both us and Iraq? I think this is a very good question.

Fighting for someone else’s democracy carries some inherent risks. The main one I think of is that the majority of the people that have been freed from a tyrannical regime may choose to construct and elect a government that seems to us to be no better than the previous bad guys. There is inherent risk in freedom. God knew this when He created us and allowed us the choice whether to follow Him or not. If we look at the new government as a “creation” in a sense, we have also taken a risk. We have American men and women over here risking their lives for a country that may by free election set up a government based on Islam. It is interesting that I would say most of Bush’s strongest backers are evangelical Christians who share his belief in Jesus Christ and ultimate worth in people being free. Unfortunately, the people you make free may choose to build the largest Mosque on earth rather than setting a new world record for Vacation Bible School attendance.

As I look to the lessons of history, I think of Japan and Germany. We warred with both of these countries and were involved in their reconstruction. There are many aspects to this comparison that weakens it as a tool to learn from, but we really do not have any other good recent examples. What I am encouraged by as I look at these two countries is to know what they did to their neighbors and even those living within their own borders in the name of Nationalistic pride and where they are now. The atrocities of Hitler are well known and Japan is still hated by many of its neighbors for its past evils. That being said, they both are free countries now, that allow people to live vastly different lives and faiths in peace. They also allow people to travel freely both in and out of the country. A hallmark of countries that have little to hide.

As I think of the future of Iraq, what I desire for the country is a life like Germany or Japan. Germany has Christian roots and is largely agnostic now and Japan continues to be a predominantly Buddhist nation; however, Christianity is allowed to be presented in both countries.

Many people are afraid to have other faiths around, especially some Christians. I do not have that fear. I believe that Christianity is the only religion that has the complete truth. Many other faiths have good principles that Christians agree with, but that does not make their whole system true. Jesus said, “the truth will set us free”; I believe this is a guiding principle as we present Christianity in the marketplace of belief system options. If it is the ultimate truth that we say it is, then it will stand no matter what prosecution may come, the underground church in China is a great example. In fact the church thrives during times of persecution. Now, as we set up our tables and in the marketplace I am well aware that even as the ultimate truth many will still choose not to accept it. “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” Matthew 7:13-14. This should not discourage us. Salvation is the work of God not us. I believe our role is to present the truth in word and deed and let God handle the rest.

So I say let them build their Mosque if they like. Give them that freedom. But us being here allows many of us Christians to interact with Iraqis on a daily basis and show them by deed and word that we are not the “Great Satan” that they have been told for so many years but rather the givers of their freedom even at the cost of our own blood. Sounds similar to what Christ did for us, doesn’t it? Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10

One of my favorite quotes is from CT Studd “Some prefer to live within the sounds of chapel bells, I prefer to set up a rescue shop within a yard of hell” or as is the case here maybe within 40 miles of the largest Mosque in the world.

Soli Deo Gloria

I believe the best place to learn about God and suffering is the book of Job. Job is a man who God new to be righteous. Satan came before God and said that the only reason that Job is righteous is because God had blessed him. Satan contended that if Job were to suffer he would turn from God. God allowed Satan to cause Job to suffer by taking away his riches and his children. Still Job did not sin. Satan returned to God and said if You allow me to cause his body harm then Job will turn from You. God once again allowed Satan to torture Job, this time by bringing horrible diseases on his body. Still Job did not sin, but he began to question why God had allowed this tragedy to befall him. Job went on and on about how unfair this was and his three friends went on and on about how he deserved it because of his hidden sin.

Finally God speaks, “Then the Lord answered Job out of the storm. He said, ‘Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched out a measuring line across it?’” Job 38:1-5 God continues to show Job that he looks at the world from a very limited perspective where God has eternity as His perspective. Then God asks Job to answer Him. “The Lord said to Job: ‘Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? Let him who accuses God answer Him!’ Then Job answered the Lord: ‘I am unworthy –how can I reply toYou? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer- twice, but I will say no more.’” Job 40:1-5 God then shows Job more of how little he knows. Job then gives this final answer to God. “You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand. Things too wonderful for me to know” Job 42:3. The idea of us not understanding what God’s ultimate plan is also echoed in the following verse. “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” I Corinthians 13:12.

God has wonderful plans for us if we follow Him. In preparing us for these plans there is often pain and suffering, just as plants get pruned, metal gets refined so must we have our “impurities” and “dead branches” removed. The Bible says that, “…the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” Proverbs 3:12

It is very clear from the book of Job that God is in control and deserves to be. When I see things happening around me that suggest that God is not in control e.g., war, innocent civilians dying in bombings, children dying from diseases or starvation, I call back to my memory that I do not have the wisdom of God. I accept that He is in fact in control and will intervene in His perfect timing and perfect way. I then return to the truth that He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-loving and I am not. Then I “put my hand over my mouth”.

Solie Deo Gloria

The plane was scheduled to leave around 0345 then was bumped to 0655. We ended up taking off around 0530. This flight was quite full. We had 18 patients on litters and 17 ambulatory patients.

What struck me about this mission and I have seen this before but as of yet had not written about it, is the care that is given to the wounded warriors by the aerovac crew. The crew flies down from Germany. The flight is around 5 hours long. On the way down they rest and then about an hour before arrival they prepare the plane for patients and they continue once the plane lands and the cargo is removed. The planes are not set up specifically for patients. They are made to haul cargo, human or other. If they are hauling bullets or bombs all of these items are put on large metal pallets and then rolled into the plane. If they are hauling patients, then litter stanchions must be placed and supplied with power and oxygen. Then the patients are loaded one by one onto the plane. The litter stanchions look somewhat like bunk beds and can be as tall as five high. Tonight they are two to three high.

The patient I am monitoring is at my feet on the lowest “bunk” just six inches off the floor. Across from him is a soldier injured in an IED blast who has three metal rods on the outside of his left leg holding it together until he can be properly repaired in Germany or the US. The guy above him was also injured in an IED blast but his injuries are burned hands and face. This is a very common injury for the gunners in HUMVEEs. When the blast occurs the only parts that are exposed are their face and hands and they take most of the fiery blast. There are patients to my left and to my right all with a story. All with a family anxiously waiting for their return home. The plane is loud and usually too cold or too hot. Not a good place for Goldilocks or wounded warriors; but the fastest way to get these brave men and women to a medical facility that can care for them. There is very little complaining on the flight. Most sleep.

What the aerovac crew does is to make sure every patient receives the medicine they need as well as food, water and creative ways to go to the bathroom while laying flat on a litter. As they busily attend to each patient I start to smell cooking meat. Then minutes later hotdogs show up. In Iraq there is no fresh bread it is almost all sent from Kuwait or Qatar and is pretty firm by the time we get it. But the aerovac crew has brought hotdogs and fresh buns from Germany. They do not have to do this. The expense is paid by themselves. It is their way of caring for the troops. Then after the hotdogs, the smell of chocolate cookies fill the air. There is a small convection oven in the C-141, and it was used to warm the hotdogs and then bake the cookies. It may seem like a small thing but to all of us on the plane, the caring attitude is very much appreciated. On a previous flight from Germany, the loadmaster, not known for their gentleness, was quite the gourmet chef. He prepared a 7 course meal. It started with cheese and salami on crackers drizzled with olive oil with a pepperoccini or small tomato added on top. Then there was delicious cauliflower, nicely seasoned. BBQ chicken wings, shrimp scampi and a marinated pork tenderloin finished out the meal and completed with fresh baked cookies. When asked why he did it; he simply stated that he did it for the medics. He would not accept any reimbursement for this kind act. It was his way of saying thank you. As you can imagine his care and thoughtfulness was very much appreciated and it made the flight go by quickly.

Both the aerovac crew and the loadmaster remind me of a verse, “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words of the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35

Soli Deo Gloria

I am very disappointed that the press has used the sanitized name of insurgents for the terrorists. The followers of Zarqawi are not fighting for freedom and for the well being of the people of Iraq. They are fighting for what they have lost. What have they lost? Power. Power to control the minds of the people. Power to control the resources that should make Iraq a rich nation. Money and power is what they are after. They do not care about the people and they have formed a squad of so-called martyrs to carry out their mission. If being a martyr is such a great honor why doesn’t Zarqawi step forward and take his place next to all of the people who have killed themselves killing others. Now to be fair some of the bombers have been forced to become suicide bombers. Many of these bombers have been taken from their homes and tied to the steering wheel of a car and they are told if they do not make it to their target then their family will die as well. Regardless of whom is actually doing the bombing, what type of honor is found in killing innocent people including children? There is no honor only disgrace and cowardice. Killing children is an abomination. “See to it that you do not look down on these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.” Matthew 18:10 But Zarqawi states that this is the path that God is leading them down. We have truly entered a time when “evil is called good and good is called evil”

Just yesterday a group of soldiers were out of their Humvee giving toys and candy to children when a suicide bomber drove up and blew the car up. 27 people were killed, 12 were children. The children were in plain sight as the car approached.

What I do not understand is when the Arab world is going to stand up and condemn these attacks? The killing of innocent civilians is beyond a tragedy. It is evil. If they do want us, the US Military, here in their country, that is a fair complaint. Bring the war to us. We will not run. We will stay and fight if they are insistent on fighting.

But to blow up children coming for candy and toys, I cannot find words strong enough to characterize such an act. “Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these’”. Matthew 19:4 I am confident that after the suicide bomber died he did not receive 70 virgins and feasts as is the promise to anyone who is martyred killing infidels. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”Proverbs 16:25

Soli Deo Gloria

This army soldier broke his neck after a fall. His neck is unstable and he needs a special device called a halo to keep his neck from moving while the fracture heals. If he were allowed to move his neck freely he is at risk of damaging his spinal cord and possibly being paralyzed. Shortly after coming to our area he asked to see me. I approached this soldier who was laying flat on his back with a neck brace on and the brace was secured to the bed. He could only look at the ceiling. He wanted to talk to me about his injuries. He wanted to know if he were going to have any lasting injuries. I explained that at this point it is hard to tell but the fact that he has a normal neurological exam now is promising for his future as long as his neck is allowed to heal. His next question was shocking due to its valor. He asked, “Will I be able to come back to my unit after my neck has healed?” I responded that I wasn’t sure how long it would take for him to recover and what the Army would do with him after he had recuperated. He then said, “I came here with my unit and I want to leave with my unit.” What honor! Many would have used this as the ticket home. I do not think anyone would begrudge someone who has a broken neck from getting a ticket home. But this soldier was different. He had a commitment to his unit that superceded his own welfare. It would have seemed only natural for him to look forward with being done with his tour in Iraq; but no, he was committed and didn’t want to break faith with his fellow soldiers.

So what famous Biblical soldier did this young man remind me of? There is one soldier who stands out in David’s army who was absolutely committed to his troops above his own welfare. That man was Uriah.

In the eleventh chapter of 2 Samuel the story is told of when David’s soldiers went out to war and he stayed behind. While Uriah was fighting, David slept with his wife Bathsheba and she became pregnant.

So David sent word to Joab:”Send me Uriah the Hitite.” And Joab sent him to David. When Uriah came to him, David asked him how Joab was, how the soldiers were and how the war was going. Then David said to Uriah, “Go down to your House and wash your feet.” Uriah left the palace, and a gift from the king was sent after him. But Uriah slept at the entrance to the palace with all of the master’s servants and did not go down to his house.
When David was told, Uriah did not go home,” he asked him, “Haven’t you just come from a distant? Why didn’t you go home?”
Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my master Joab and my lord’s men are camped in the open fields. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and lie with my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!”
Then David said to him, “Stay here one more day, and tomorrow I will send you back.” So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. At Davids invitation, he ate and drank with him, and David made him drunk. But in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his master’s servants; he did not go home. 2 Samuel 11:6-13

Since Uriah would not sleep with his wife to cover the fact that David had gotten her pregnant he eventually told Joab this, “Put Uriah in the front line where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die.” 2 Samuel 11:15

The soldier of whom I speak today is worthy of praise. It humbles me to serve with men who have such honor.

Soli Deo Gloria

It is interesting that as you read the Old Testament there are a couple of interactions that God has with man regarding troop numbers that I think are very telling.

The first is God’s interaction with Gideon. Gideon is about to face the Midianites and this is what God tells him. “The Lord said to Gideon, “You have too many men for me to deliver Median into their hands. In order that Israel may not boast against me that her own strength has saved her, announce now to the people, anyone who trembles with fear may turn back and leave Mount Gilead. Judges 7:2-3. This whittled the Israelite army from 32,000 to 10,000 men. God used two more test to make the army smaller and eventually ended up with 300 men. This type of battle preparation makes no sense to men. However, as the word of God says, “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong”. 1 Corinthians 1:27 Of course this strategy that God is using with Gideon is pure foolishness in the eyes of wise war planners.

The next interaction is between David and God. For some unknown reason David wants to count how many fighting men he has in his country. Joab tells him it is bad idea but the King insists and the men of fighting age are counted. The counting of the men brings great displeasure from God and David has to choose one of three curses as a punishment for his sin. This story is found in 2 Samuel 24 and 1 Chronicles 21. It does not say specifically why God did not want David to count his men; but, I can think of two reasons. 1) Knowing the number of men allows you to put your trust in the numbers rather than in God and 2) was David filled with pride over his kingdom and what he thought he had accomplished, even though it was God who had delivered the nation of Israel from the hands of enemies and blessed its growth.

Interesting that in neither story is God interested in Israel’s troop strength. Additionally all modern wars that Israel has been involved, they have been horribly out numbered yet against all odds they have overcome and won every battle since the rebirth of their nation.

The moral to these stories is if God is on your side, leave your war calculators at home. The King of Kings and the Lord of Lords will be sufficient for whatever battle you find yourself in. This truth applies both to war and plain old life.

Soli Deo Gloria

The dining facility here holds probably 1000-2000 people. There are multiple cafeteria style lines to get food from. There are tables lined up that hold about eight people each and there are TVs that are set up in the corners of the rooms usually showing news or movies on Air Force Network. The TVs are largely ignored except by those who are close to them. However, on this night it was different. After I had picked up my food I noticed that almost everyone in the facility was watching the TV. It was relatively silent so the dialogue could be heard even from far away. And many like me stopped where they were to watch what was on.

So what show had quieted the room. It was Braveheart. The specific scene that had everyone transfixed on the TV was when at the end of the movie he is being tortured. The entire crowd watching him being tortured is begging for him to ask for mercy. I think probably almost everyone in the room new this movie and new what was coming next. But we all wanted to hear it. We all wanted to see this man who was being tortured not beg for mercy but to maintain his dignity and keep faith with all those who had died before him.

So what were his last words going to be? What was he going to use his last breath to utter. What was so significant to him that he would allow it to take him to an excruciatingly painful death.

The answer came in his last word. Wallace gathered his strength and then with a yell that echoed through the mountains he bellowed: FREEDOM

We celebrate freedom at home. We are defending it here.

Happy Fourth of July!

What I would like to do is share a story from the Bible; because, I feel it has special relevance to today.
Then David came to the two hundred men who had been too exhausted to follow him and who were left behind at the Besor Ravine. They came out to meet David and the people with him. As David and his men approached, he greeted them. But all of the evil men and trouble makers among David’s followers said, “Because they did not go out with us, we will not share with them the plunder we recovered. However, each man may take his wife and children and go.”

David replied, “No, my brothers, you must not do that with what the Lord has given us. He has protected us and handed over to us the forces that came against us. Who will listen to what you say? The share of the man who stayed with the supplies is to be the same as that of him who went down to battle. All will share alike.” 1 Samuel 30:21-24

I thought of this story because I think of all of those who would like to serve for the cause of freedom but cannot. I think of all of those who have already served and would like to serve again. I received an email just the other day from a woman in Texas whose husband has already retired as a Lt Col and is trying to be reinstated so he can come and serve again. I think about those who have served valiantly in the past and all we have of them is memories.

So with this wonderful story in my mind. I wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of those who have “stayed with the supplies”. Your prayers, care packages, and letters mean the world to us over here. We may not be very good about writing back to you and thanking you for all that is being done for us back home; but, know that it is appreciated.

Please continue to pray for us especially for those troops that are going door to door and driving convoys.

Soli Deo Gloria

The contrast in environments got me wondering if it always looked this way when Adam, Eve, Abraham, Noah and Jonah walked this land. If it has always looked this way, that led me to think of what was God trying to teach the early men and women by putting them specifically in this environment. He could have chosen the Amazon rainforest or Yosemite Valley or some Hawaiian Island. But He did not. He chose a place with quite a bit of desert. The desert is an awesome place. Its heat during the summer is overpowering. It has already been up to 122 here and the high is expected to reach in the 130’s. The local culture does little outside during the heat of the summer day and from what I have read this has been true for thousands of years. So what is God’s purpose for putting the first men and women in this kind of climate? They could have been in a place where they could climb trees and explore the forest or hike through the mountains and pastures or they could be swimming in beautiful Pacific waters. I know God always has a purpose and my mind wondered what that might be, for this to be chosen as the “cradle of civilization”. Gods seems to like to have people wander through the desert when He is trying to teach them or mature them and then once they have matured they are allowed to enter the “promised land”.

I thought of what does God desires of us. In Micah 6:8 that question is answered, “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God ”. I can act justly and love mercy anywhere I am; but, what does it take to walk humbly with God? A few things come to mind: 1) time that is free from distractions (I find distractions often have a way of getting my eyes off God and on what ever I have involved myself with), 2) quietness to hear God, 3) a respect for the smallness of us compared to God, and 4) the ability and necessity to wait on God. As I look at this list the desert is a great place for each of these. The barrenness of the desert is relatively free from distraction, no beautiful tropical fish to stare at for hours. There are few sounds in the desert besides wind to cloud our minds. I do not here birds or insects or other animals, just wind. The vastness of the desert lets one realize just how small we are, especially if you think of God using the Earth as his footstool. Finally, the heat of the desert gives one much time to wait on God to speak. It is so hot during the midday sun that one is forced to be still and wait for cooler temperature.

Once again I am convinced that God is much more concerned with our eternal home and happiness than the comforts of everyday life. This is especially true when those very comforts can distract us from walking humbly with Him.

I find it very hard to be still and wait and listen for God. I have quite a bit of free time in the evenings. God has given me a choice “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10 or I can find a thousand and one things that I can be active with, watching DVDs exercising, playing games and so on. He also exhorts me to wait on Him. “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:14, but I often find myself wanting to get things done in my timing instead of His.

My soul longs for the quietness and the peace of the desert to walk humbly with God; but, my flesh and its pride wants nothing of idleness. The man in me would rather be busy with pleasures and activities that make me feel important. I have found in my own life, if I do not make arrangement for time in the figurative desert, God will do it for me and sometimes it ends up being the real desert.

Soli Deo Gloria

The Marine

I was doing my usual duties at the hospital of clearing patients to be aerovaced out. As I was finishing, I overheard a marine asking where a certain location was. He then asked how long of a walk it was. I joined the conversation and said it was about 1-2 miles. He started to leave on crutches, determined to find a buddy of his who was here and he did not have a chance to say good-bye to him nearly a year ago. I have absolute respect for the toughness of marines, but I could not bear to let him walk two miles on crutches. I asked him if he wanted a ride and he accepted, with a certain disbelief, that a LtCol would give him a ride.

As we rode I asked where he was stationed and what type of activity he was involved in. He went on to explain to me that he was in the infantry and he was going house to house searching for bad guys and weapons. His unit was in the west near the Syrian border. He explained what it was like going door to door. He said his battalion had suffered 28 KIAs (killed in action) He described his Major standing behind a concrete wall and when a rocket hit the wall a chunk of concrete hit the Major’s chest with such force that it was essentially removed from the rest of his body. The Corporal had become be very disenchanted with how much the civilians lied about their innocence and now he considers every Arab a bad guy, until proven otherwise. He told me of an incident when two of the sergeants in his unit were in a house they thought was clear. The occupants had proclaimed they were innocent. Then anti-aircraft guns that were hidden underneath the floor started firing instantly killing the two sergeants. He explained to me that he was injured jumping over a barricade when he came under mortar attack and then hurt his hand jumping back to the other side when more firing started. He said that he had no idea how anyone would act when fired upon. He states that his fellow Marines have said that in the middle of fire fights that he has killed enemies; however, he has no recollection of killing anyone. He said that almost everyone they were confronting in the west were not Iraqis but Syrians and other foreigners and they have lots of cash to recruit bombers for missions.

We eventually got to the Squadron where his buddy was supposed to be. Not at all where he had thought it was. It was good that he didn’t walk or crutch there. His buddy was no longer there. Charlie company had moved to the north. The Marine was clearly disappointed not to be able to see his buddy. I sensed he felt very alone and very numb from all he had been through. He talked with almost no emotion, just matter of factly. I was also disappointed that we did not find his buddy but I was blessed to have had the chance to talk to this very brave young man. I have been very impressed with the young men fighting this war and I consider it a great honor to serve with them. I hope when people see a member of the Armed Forces they take the time to ask them what their thoughts are. There is much to be appreciated about these brave warriors and their perspective is first hand not the thoughts of people who have never ventured out of the think tanks of Washington DC.

The Iraqi Colonel

That night at dinner an Iraqi Colonel and his translator sat at our table. We were having our conversation and they were having theirs. I really wanted to talk to the Colonel and after everyone had finished eating I asked the interpreter where he was from. He was from Dearborn Michigan and of Lebanese descent. I asked the Col. the same question and he said, “Babylon”. Imagine having as your home town Babylon. I asked him how the rebuilding of Babylon was coming a long. This question started him down a long explanation of the recent history of Iraq. He explained how Babylon was being rebuilt just about the same time the Iran/Iraq war started. He explained that it was a very difficult war and that neither side won. The war ended as a tired draw. He went on to add that all of the money in the country, over the last 20 years has been spent on war materials and the infrastructure of the country has gone lacking. He then stated, “Well, you know that after the Iran war we were in two wars with the US. You watched the news. You know we ran when we faced you in battle. But now we are Brothers.” He said that last sentence with a big smile on his face. What a professional soldier. Professional soldiers do not hold grudges against their enemy. They realize that war is between the nations not between the individuals; therefore, when the fighting is over it is possible to be “brothers”.

Our conversation then transitioned into the future of Iraq. The gist of his comments were two fold: 1) He thought there will be much less insurgency once Saddam was executed and 2) He knows most of the insurgency is from outside Iraq, sponsored with money that Saddam had hidden during his reign. He also added that Saddam signaled the insurgency to start when 3 months after the collapse of Baghdad he said, “The battle will now begin”.

It was great to talk with an Iraqi who was so well versed in the history of not only the country but the military as well. One of the last statements he made before we said good bye was, “All we need is one year of peace and you will be amazed what Iraqis can do to improve their country.” I pray that peace will come

The Female Marine

After dinner I went back to contingency areomedical staging facility or CASF. This is where those who are injured are prepared for the plane flight out. Think of it an airport terminal with wounded as the passengers and nurses, techs and docs as the service providers. Oh yeah, no Starbucks or Sbarro’s anywhere in sight.

One of the patients I needed to clear for flight was a female Marine. She must have been around 20 years old, 5”6” and about 110 pounds soaking wet. She had a neck brace on and as I approached her she was commenting how tough she was even though she was relatively small. I saw from her paperwork, that she was in injured after the truck she was riding in was targeted by a suicide bomber. She had a stable fracture of her neck and a couple of burns on her fingers but was otherwise in good shape. I asked her how the pain was and she repeated, “I am tough. I don’t need any pain medication.” She smiled as she said she was tough and you could tell she had a great sense of humor, but there was no mistaking that she was a Marine.

She then explained to me what happened to the truck that she was riding on. The truck was carrying female Marines who were involved in searching female Iraqis going through checkpoints. Another example of how we have been bending over backwards to maintain sensitivity to the culture here. Their shift was over and they were on their way back to their base. A car drove up along the truck and a man got out. He had a number of incendiary devices and was carrying a propane tank like we would use with a gas grill. In an instant, he blew himself up. The truck was instantly involved in a fire ball that followed the blast. The Marine remembers feeling very hot and then she woke up outside the truck. She looked around at those with her. There were at least three dead and many of the others, she could see their skin dripping off their body. The girl to the right of her was severely burned. I had actually sent that girl to Germany a couple nights before on a ventilator and with severe burns to her hands and face. The girl to the left of her had bad burns to her face but was not on a ventilator and was also on her way to the burn center in San Antonio via Germany. The Marine maintained a great attitude during the entire conversation and couldn’t believe how little she was hurt. As she was explaining how little she was injured compared to those around her she stated, “Jesus must have been giving me a big hug.” Most people would consider a broken neck a pretty big injury, but compared to her friends she had it good. She said that she was doing well but thought that she would never forget the sight of dripping skin. She wondered why more hadn’t happened to her when so many of her friends had been so severely injured. She also wondered if this would screw her up in the future. What do you say to a person who has witnessed what she had and then questions why she survived and her friends didn’t? I am not sure what is the best thing to say. I took the cue from her saying that “Jesus was hugging her.” and I encouraged her that it did appear that God had protected her for some reason. I did not know what that reason was, but that I believed that we all have a God prescribed purpose and it is our job to seek God and find out what that purpose is. Some never find their purpose and some find it and chose not to fulfill it. Then there are those who seek God and follow wherever He leads. Those are the people that I find to be the most content with their lives.

Three very different people with three very different perspectives. I really enjoyed this day and I felt privileged to have spoken with such quality people in a single day.

As I close this long discourse on my experiences that day, I wanted to add how I was encouraged by the recent speech by Bush and I am sure the Iraqi Colonel would be as well. The President was discussing that many had called on us to pull out of Iraq before it was stable. He answer was firm. “For the sake of our Nation's security, this will not happen on my watch.” No opinion polls support this decision. This is a decision of a brave and great leader, who cares more about the future of America than his poll numbers. I am honored to serve under his command.

Soli Deo Gloria

So why am I saying all of this? Well, I am not sure that everyone in the states is aware that we get quite a bit of news over here. Not as much as in the states and those who are in forward locations may get less, but at most bases there is a daily Stars and Stripes and CNN and/or Fox news is on Air Force Network. As we see American blood on the floor of the operating room or the ICU or the back of a helicopter. Or men crying because they lost a buddy. In that same day or hour when we have a chance to read a stars or Stripes or watch some TV over a meal we get to hear how less than 50% of the public support what we are doing. Let there be no mistake. The phrase, “I support the Troops but do not support the war” are empty words. When I hear someone say that expression, which I hear frequently, I in no way feel supported by them. In fact, I take it as a statement that they are against what I am doing so how could they support me without supporting what I am doing. I believe support for me and my role here are inextricably linked.

It is a tough battle over here trying to fight an enemy who will kill themselves to kill us. An enemy who doesn’t care if innocent civilians get killed, but if we happen to accidentally kill an innocent person then the media wants immediate punishment of the soldier. With the fall of support for the war for freedom for Iraq, I sense the battle lines in America are starting to break.

Now is not the time to debate this war, which I believe is just. That can be done later. While there are men and women in harms way, I ask one thing of all those who are enjoying the freedom of the US. Who will enjoy the fireworks of Independence Day. Who will go to the store with out the fear of a car bomb. Who will enjoy a picnic and a BBQ this 4th of July.

CLOSE RANKS

Soli Deo Gloria

Five girls all with severe burns when their truck was hit by a suicide bomber carrying a propane tank. Four of the five were on ventilators due to inhaling hot gas into their lungs.

Man with a gun shot wound the bullet entered his hip and exited through his opposite chest on a ventilator

Man hit by an IED, shrapnel hit his neck damaging vessels and other structures, he now has a tracheostomy and on a ventilator

Female who was hit by an IED, spleen was badly damaged and needed to be removed, right diaphragm was destroyed, multiple injuries to her intestines, lungs badly damaged and was barely surviving on the ventilator

Man driving a truck and someone through a large rock which broke the windshield and crushed his face

So what will I do now that after two months I feel the all of the injured are starting to affect me. I have two choices: I could become callus and choose not to feel or I could encourage myself in God’s word

“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for Christ’s power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast of my weaknesses so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for in the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galations 6:9

I will choose to be encouraged by God’s word and let tears come as they may.

Soli Deo Gloria

I was flying with the Blackhawk aerovac unit the other night. We went to Baghdad to pick up a couple of soldiers who had been injured. As we were about to pick the two men up the pilot was informed that there was a civilian contractor at a neighboring base who needed a ride to Balad to visit his son who had been injured in an IED blast. After picking up the patients from Baghdad we left for the next base. We landed and the flight medic went to get the father. He was no where to be found. We waited 10 minutes and then checked again but still no father. We needed to get the two wounded members back to Balad so we left. We were flying at night. We all had night vision goggles on. The whole world becomes green with halos around any light source. It is quite amazing to be able to see in the dark.

We arrive at the hospital drop off the two patients who will be on their way to Germany in just hours. I had encouraged the soldiers before we left Baghdad that they would soon be breathing fresh cool air with plenty of trees to enjoy. They smiled. It is amazing what a desert does to make you appreciate simple pleasures. I completely forget about the father who is trying to get to his son’s side.

The following day I was in the patient ward of the hospital. Myself and one of the other flight surgeons were clearing patients for flights to Kuwait and Germany. I started talking to one of the patients who seemed to have a good sense of humor. He had sustained a knee injury when his Bradley vehicle rolled across a very big bomb. He described that blast like God had picked up his Bradley, a multi-ton heavily armored vehicle, shook it and then threw it down. His Bradley had been involved in more than 20 IED blasts. This one would be the last for her. His knee was injured and he had many other cuts and bruises on his body. He said that his commander said, “I am glad that you are OK. I am also thankful that you guys in the Bradley hit the bomb and not a Humvee, because they would have all been killed.” The soldier agreed with the commander. The armor of the Bradley had saved the lives of himself and his crew and probably some unknowing Humvee crew.

I asked him how he was feeling and if his pain was under control. He said the pain was not too bad. He had been able to talk to his wife before the official military phone call had notified her that her husband had been injured in combat. He then went on to volunteer that what really helped him was seeing his father. He explained that his father was a civilian contractor in Iraq and that the military had flown him in last night to see him. It meant the world to him because he had not seen his father in two years. Previous to this deployment he had been in Korea for 18 months. It was nice to be able to tell him that the Army was trying so hard to get his father to Balad that they had diverted our helo to go and try to pick him up also. I know it was an incredible blessing to this soldier to have his father visit. I was blessed to be able to see both sides of the story.

I do not know what kind of relationship this son and father had; but, I am pretty sure when your child has been injured all that matters is the present. The past becomes largely irrelevant. It reminds of the relationship between Absalom and David. Even though Absalom tried to take the kingdom away from his Father, David mourned greatly when his son was killed in battle against the king’s soldiers. 2 Samuel 18:33” O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son.”

A special thanks to all the Fathers who are serving today and heart felt condolences for all those Fathers who have outlived there children.

Soli Deo Gloria

As I think of Babylon, the great empire that took the Jews into captivity, four people come to mind that had a similar experience here. Daniel 1:17 “To these four young men God gave knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning. And Daniel could understand visions and dreams of all kinds.”

Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego were made administrators over the province of Babylon. And when an order came down to from King Nebuchadnezzar that people should only worship the gold image he had made, they did not follow it rather they decided to stay faithful to the one true God. When Nebuchadnezzar heard that they did not worship the idol he was enraged and ordered them to be thrown in a fiery furnace. They responded to the decree. “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship you’re the image of gold you have set up.” Daniel 3:17-18

They were all thrown into the furnace that was heated so hot that the men throwing them in were burned to death. When the King looked into the furnace, he said, “Look! I now see four men walking around in the fire, unbound and unharmed and the fourth looks like the son of the gods.” Daniel 3:25

After the three men were removed from the fire, Nebuchadnezzar worshipped their God. “Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything He does is right and all His ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble.” Daniel 4:37

Years later Daniel was in a similar situation, when men who were jealous of Daniel had King Darius sign a decree ordering that no one was to pray to anyone besides the king. Daniel was eventually thrown in a lions den because he prayed to God, as was his custom three times a day, and not to king. When Daniel survived the night in the lion’s den, King Darius was also moved to worship the God of Daniel. Daniel 6:26 “I issue a decree that in every part of my kingdom people must fear and reverence the God of Daniel.”

My thoughts about these men are mostly of admiration as well as I think they have an eternal exhortation for us. They easily could have gone along with the crowd. They were men in exile. When in Rome do as the Romans do. However, they would not worship any god, but only the one true God even to the point of death. As I sit in this land that is filled with many who hate all that is Christian or Jewish, I pray that God will raise up modern day Daniels, Shadrachs, Meshachs, and Abedengos that will testify and remain faithful to God even to the point of death, that God may use them to change the minds of even kings.

Soli Deo Gloria

My thoughts now go to why Jonah did not want to go to Nineveh. Next, when he finally went to Nineveh what his attitude was toward the people.

Jonah 1:2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before.” Jonah did not go, we learn later because he did not want God to forgive them. When Jonah eventually made it to Nineveh he proclaimed that God would overturn the city. This caused the city to repent and turn from their evil ways. Jonah 3:10 “When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, He had compassion and did not bring upon them the destruction He had threatened.” Jonah 4:1 “But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry.” Jonah was angry because God showed compassion on Nineveh after they had repented. Jonah did not want them to be forgiven. In the last verse of the book, God explains why he was compassionate, Jonah 4:11 “But Nineveh has more than 120,000 people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?” God of course is talking about those who for whatever reason are unable to understand very simple concepts even right from left: the young, the unintelligent and even the animals.

I think about all of the people in the US that think what we are doing here is not just. It seems that they like Jonah do not want the Iraqis to have the benefits of a society like ours. Much like Jonah did not want the ancient “Iraqis” to benefit from God’s forgiveness and compassion.

What I think about everyday are all the people who are not living in fear of Saddam’s death squads. The children who get to go to school and get immunized. The women who have freedom to vote and further their education. The Olympians who can perform and not fear having body parts cut off if they did not win. All because the US and a few of its allies were willing to stand up and stop the killing and the terror that reigned down from Saddam regime.

We expect a certain level of civility in our country. Are we unwilling to help others in achieving the same level civility in their country?

I am proud to say that I am involved in this effort and I look forward to the day when the Iraqi people will feel free to worship the one true God and to ask for forgiveness just as we are able and just as the people of Nineveh did thousands of years ago.

Soli Deo Gloria,

I was making sure that he was ready to fly and that he pain was in good control. I was also encouraging him that in just a few hours he would breathing the wonderful cool crisp air of Germany and enjoying the wonderful trees. Being in the desert makes you appreciate cool air and trees. He looked at me with sadness in his face and said, “Yeah that sounds nice, but my men will still be here.” What an unselfish attitude. Here lies a man whose arm was torn apart from a bullet has lots of reason to feel sorry for himself and feel entitle to some better living conditions; but, no, his thoughts were for the men that would be left behind. I was humbled.

When I loaded him on the plane and told him to have a nice trip and tears filled his eyes. I am not sure what made him tear up, but I was wondering if his thoughts had returned to his men.

This episode brought back the thoughts of the movie “We Were Soldiers”. Hal Moore at the end of the movie has tears in his eyes as he prepares to leave the battle field, after many of his men had died. He said, “I will never forgive myself that my men died and I didn’t.” Both of these men were examples of selflessness and men of honor.

I daily witness men who teach me what it means to have honor and to be selfless. In these moments of instruction I realize how much I care for myself more than others. The thought brings me back to Christ. “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

Soli Deo Gloria

As day became evening an F-16 fighter pilot and one of the flight surgeons assigned to his unit came by to talk to the troops. He was one of the pilots that was flying high above the action and supporting the troops on the ground during the recent offensive. It was very touching to watch this pilot walk from litter to litter talking with each of the injured. I watched from a distance as he asked what had happened to each of the wounded. He then explained that he was watching out for them from high above. As I watched his face, it was not the usual sympathetic face of one of the medics. His face showed signs of taking each wounded soldier as someone he was responsible for. I could imagine that as his task was to support these troops from the air, that each troop that he saw that had been injured was in someway his failure.

When I talked to the flight surgeon, she commented that the pilot had been very quiet after talking to the troops. She thought that the experience had affected him deeply. I was very impressed that this pilot was willing to come and talk with these brave men. It is sometimes said of pilots that since they are so far removed from the action of the infantry that they are involved in a sanitized type of warfare. I personally think this is nonsense. However, this was the first pilot I had seen come face to face with the wounded that just hours before he had been protecting. There was definitely something different about this man.

A couple weeks later I was leaving church and a man in a flight suit called to me. It was that same pilot and he thanked me again for allowing him to visit the troops. Somehow it didn’t surprise me to see him at church.

Two nights ago around 11pm I was sitting at my desk in the tent where we hold the patients waiting to be aerovac’d out. The pilot came up and asked if he could go and talk with the injured again. How impressive. This wasn’t a guy doing a once a year journey to the soup kitchen to absolve his guilt. There weren’t any press or photographers around. He had come after work when most were sleeping. He really cared about these men, felt responsibility for them and I believe this made him a better pilot. I think he is a great example of true compassion. He probably is learning that from His Savior.

Sloi Deo Gloria

I just finished watching “We Were Soldiers” a war movie based on the true story of LtCol Hal Moore. The movie is an incredible war movie. I would consider it one of the best. But, what stood out for me, what made this movie different than any other war movie, was how it captured the women that were left behind. It captured the pain of being left behind with no knowledge when and if they would see their husbands again.

This movie touched me in a new way this time as I watched it. Mostly because now I have seen men that will not make it home or men that will make it home badly damaged. As I watched this movie I thought more of the wives and the families left behind during this conflict. I think of the newlywed wife who hears that her new husband will not return and before their first anniversary she has become a widow. I think of the children who will not have a father. The parents that will not have a son to help them as they age.

I also think about all those who will come back less than they left. What about the father who was the proud coach of his son’s soccer team who now has no legs. What about the uncle who was teaching his nephew how to throw a curve ball who now cannot use his hands because of the burns he received when an IED blew up his Humvee.

Please let us pray for all of those that are grieving. Let us pray for the wives, the sons, the daughters, the parents and all of the families that have suffered loss. Everytime a suicide bomber takes out a convoy or soldiers training Iraqi soldiers, that is one less suicide bomber that can harm the homeland. These soldiers over here are sacrificing themselves for their homeland. Some are sacrificing themselves literally and all have sacrificed themselves figuratively serving in a foreign land in harms way.

Soli Deo Gloria

Back to the Iraqi police who were attacked. There were two suicide bombers. The first one exploded and then as people who were not killed or severely injured were fleeing to safety the second suicide bomber joined the new crowd and then detonated himself about a minute later.

The people responsible called themselves, Al Qaida, Iraq. They stated that the police were secretly promoting a pro-Israel agenda. This was of course complete non-sense, but if you are going to kill your own people then you need a justification and the one used for this attack was calling the police Jewish collaborators.

What can be said of this type of self destruction? What would motivate people to not only kill others but also themselves? I believe the answer is told in the book of John. Jesus is telling his disciples what is coming in the future and what can they expect. John 16:2, “…in fact, a time is coming when anyone who kills you will think he is offering a service to God.”

It appears what is happening here as well as in Israel, is the fulfillment of this prophecy of Christ.

I believe what we are engaged in here is part of a war that is being fought on many different realms. I believe at the most basic level this is a war over the spiritual direction of the world. I believe that Ephesians 6:12 speaks much of the battle that we do not see. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Even though we are engaged in a battle in Iraq, Israel and Jerusalem are still inextricably linked to the conflict. As it says in Psalm 122:6 “Pray for the peace of Jerusalem.”

Soli Deo Gloria

I was asking what had happened to him and how he as feeling. As he was finishing his story he started to cry and in an almost pleading way asked, “What did I do wrong? Why did this happen to me? It didn’t happen to anyone else in my unit.” Again and again through sobs he asked, “What did I do wrong?” I assured him that I did not think that he had done anything wrong that brought about this injury. He and I didn’t discuss it, but we all know that each and everyone of us have done many things wrong. Just as the Bible says in Romans, “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23. Of course, as his was crying I was trying to think of what I could say to him to encourage him about this apparent injustice that had befallen him. I knew that this was not the time to get into a many hour discussion about how we are punished, who gets punished, and when we will be punished for our less than admirable deeds. Obviously, many people feel that anything that happens to them that is bad is a result of “bad things” they have done. I am pretty sure that this man was genuinely confused. I would imagine that he thought that although he wasn’t perfect, that all in all, he was not doing that bad. He was serving his country in the military and not complaining about being in Iraq.

What could I encourage him with? The verse that came to mind was Jesus speaking about His father in Matthew 5:45 “….He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends the rain on the righteous and the unrighteousness.” The chaplain was listening to me as I shared this and as I quoted this verse to the soldier he joined me. I explained that this verse from the Bible showed that bad things happen to both the good and the bad. I then said to the soldier that the chaplain would be here so he could talk some more about his feeling. How I wish I didn’t have so many other patients to see, so I could have spent more time with him.

What else do I wish that I could have said to him? I really wanted to get into a long discourse of how I believe often God allows suffering for our eternal benefit. The verses that come to mind are from the book of Peter. 1 Peter 4:19 “So then, let those who suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to Him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.” 1 Peter 5:10 “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

Once again I think it comes down to trusting in a faithful Creator doing what is best for our eternal interests not just our temporal interests.

To me the question for all of us is this: “Do we trust God when the rockets of life blow up and injure us?”

Soli Deo Gloria

The alarm red signifies that we are under attack. When you hear the alarm red siren, one must seek shelter and don the helmet and body armor. We have had around 20 of these events in the past month. So far no personnel have been harmed during this rotation but in the past there have been injuries. Sometimes you can hear when the mortar hits and other times you can’t. The base is very large and sometimes the mortars or rockets do not make it all the way to the base and fall short in the surrounding field. Sometimes you feel the concussion move through your body and other times it just sounds like someone slammed a door.

There are also days when the explosive experts set off the explosive devices or bombs that have been discovered. They let us know when these are going to occur by email. If you don’t check your email, it is often impossible to tell what is a controlled detonation and what is rocket or mortar attack.

What I have noticed in myself and others is that when a door slams or loud sound is heard everyone stops and looks around. A whistling sound will have people looking skyward. You can imagine how many everyday sounds can alert those of us who have been conditioned by 20 alarm reds.

A couple of months before I came to Iraq, I was in a mother’s room who just delivered a baby with significant heart defect. I was explaining what needed to be done for the baby in the next couple of days in order for the infant to survive. It was about 0500 and the father was asleep in the chair. There was a classic Texas thunder storm occurring outside the window. While I was talking with the mother a loud thunder clap went through the room. The soldier who was previously asleep jumped up from the chair, eyes wide open. He looked around dazed, like not sure where he was. His wife spoke with great compassion as she said, “He just got back from Iraq.”

After only a month in Iraq I now know how he felt. I wonder how long it will be after I get home that a closing door or a car backfire doesn’t send me to thoughts of mortars and rockets.

This is a very unnatural busy we are engaged in. I can see why people who have been in combat are never quite the same after they come home and why people who have not been there can never really understand. There are many different reactions to the alarm reds. Some cry and others find them annoying. Some never take off their body armor, some will not put it on unless ordered to do so. I do not worry much about the mortar attacks and I think that is because I feel God’s will will be done whether I am in Iraq or Texas. In Jeremiah 10:23, it says, “I know, O Lord, that a man’s life is not his own; it is not for a man to direct his steps.” I truly believe that God can lead me to a mortar if that be His will or He can lead me away. He will direct my steps.

Job shows a trust I desire to have, “Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.” Job 13:15.

We had a patient come through for evacuation because he was a danger to himself. He was a part of the convoys that are the constant target of improvised explosive devices or IEDs. He had seen at least three buddies injured from IEDs and he didn’t want to go back home in pieces. He said he would rather end his own life than to be blown up. It seemed like this fighting man didn’t feel anything or anyone was protecting him from harm.

My thoughts went to the book of Hebrews 13:5-6 where it says “….Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my Helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?

It also reminded me a story I read in Jesus Freaks a book about Martyrs. The Martyr was Thomas Hauker in England, year 1555

“Thomas” his friend lowered his voice so as not to be heard by the guard. “I have to ask you a favor. I need to know if what others say about the grace of God is true. Tomorrow, when they burn you at the stake, if the pain is tolerable and your mind is still at peace, lift your hands above your head. Do it right before you die. Thomas, I have to know.”

Thomas Hauker whispered to his friend, “I will.”

The next morning, Hauker was bound to the stake and the fire was lit. The fire burned a long time, but Hauker remained motionless. His skin was burnt to a crisp and his fingers were gone. Everyone watching supposed that he was dead.

Suddenly, miraculously, Hauker lifted his hands, still on fire, above his head. He reached them up to the living God, and then, with great rejoicing, clapped them together three times.

The people there broke into shouts of praise and applause. Hauker’s friend had his answer.

Hauker lived out the verse in Pillipians 4:6-7 “ Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Soli Deo Gloria

It is the day after Memorial Day which was a very meaningful day here. Memorial Day had a new relevance here because we have all seen fighting men who are now honored by this hallowed day.

I saw something interesting as I went to eat lunch at the dining facility #2. Commonly referred to DFAC2. I have noticed for some time that there seems to be more people saying grace before they it eat here than what I see at home. I also see many more people crossing themselves before eating. I attribute it to the old adage, “There aren’t any atheist in fox holes.” Some could think of this place as one large fox hole as no one knows where the next mortar or rocket that is lobbed over the wire may hit. But back to what I saw interesting. Since we are nine hours ahead we often see the news on the TV from what we would call yesterday. So as I ate lunch the news that we were watching was from the evening of Memorial Day. I am not sure what channel it was but it sounded like Ted Koppel, so I guess Nightline and ABC. The entire show was a Memorial to all those that had died during this war. There were two faces on the screen at all times and each name was announced by Koppel. If this was done to honor these brave military members, I am all for it. However, if there was some political agenda to use this to decrease support for the effort in Iraq, then I think it is reprehensible. But again , I digress. The DFAC is usually a loud and raucous room. There are loud voices and laughter. Not today. The attitude was somber as people who would normally ignore the TV were drawn to the screen. People would stop as they were walking to their seats or as they left to spend some time looking at the screen. Not to look or to talk too loudly seemed disrespectful. I do not think many liked having the pictures showed to us. I think for many it brought back memories that were difficult to suppress and this tore off the scab of a partially healed wound. It brought back to mind the mortality of us all including some friends that were now evidence of the finality of death.

I would like to think that all of these being honored were in heaven enjoying paradise with Jesus. I do not know if that is the case. Jesus’ grace for forgiveness is free but according to the Bible it is still something that needs to be received by faith. Romans 3:22-23 “This righteousness from God, comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

I hope that all of the faces that were shown on the TV had a saving faith. I hope that my time here may be as a witness to others of the love and the peace and the eternal security that comes through Christ Jesus alone. I hope to be a witness that never has to use words. The Israelites knew Moses had seen God because his face was radiant, Exodus 34:29. I pray that God makes my face radiant.

Soli Deo Gloria

The Stars and Stripes headline on May 25 2005 was, “Explosion, attacks kill 8 U.S. trops in Iraq- Deaths bring to 13 the number of American lives lost since Sunday”

As this is Memorial Day, my thoughts went to all of those for whom Memorial Day holds a special sadness a second funeral day. The loved ones of the men and women whose memory is celebrated on this solemn day do not consider this just another day off, the beginning of the BBQ season, or the preordained time when women can where white shoes. This is a day where they are forced to face their loss once more.

Soli Deo Gloria

Talking with people who have been shot at or had vehicles or devices explode near them, I have seen a variety of emotions. Most have a quiet resolve. “This is the nature of the conflict and someone got to me before I got to them”. I have seen others that hold deep resentment not only to the insurgents but also the Iraqi people for not stopping the insurgency. In a few others I have seen a peace that seemed to harbor no resentment at all. The latter reminded me of Joseph. Genesis contains the details of how Joseph was betrayed by his brothers. He ended up as a servant to an Egyptian master due to betrayal and then in jail as a result of a lie. He eventually was able to save his family from sure death from famine due to the position of honor God had eventually given him in Egypt.

When the family was finally reunited the brothers were very concerned at the revenge that Joseph might have in mind. Here is his response to his brothers who were begging for mercy and declaring they were his slaves. Gen 50 19-21 But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then do not be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

What an example of not only forgiveness but a willingness to bless those who had persecuted him. The forgiveness of Joseph is a foretaste of the forgiveness of Christ. While he was being tormented on the cross he was able to say, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.

Honestly, I have a long way to go in the forgiveness department. When I see our wounded soldiers and the innocent men women and children of Iraq killed or wounded, I want vengeance. Once again the Bible is there to guide me. Romans 12:19-20 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay”. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” I hope we as medics are doing this as we treat those who have attacked our soldiers.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Before I left for Iraq, I asked a flight surgeon who was recently deployed, “what was the toughest part of the job?”. She said, “I was not prepared for flying home on an airplane carrying flag draped caskets.” I could sense from her that it was that lingering question “why not me?”, or “why them?” that caused her discomfort.

This is a question and an emotion that is very common here. Whether it is a death or just an injury, the question lingers and begs to be answered. The soldier who trades seats with his buddy and the buddy dies and he does not. The soldier who bends down into the protection of the turret just before the explosion. I heard these two stories in the last couple of days.

I believe the underlying issue is: The permissive will of God. Why does God allow what He does? Why does it seem like God gives some people hints to change seats in a Humvee and others hear nothing? Some Christians have miraculous escapes from death and other Christians die tragically. The same can be said of non-Christians.

I do not pretend to understand the permissive will of God. I do not believe that I should. I thought of this while I was reading Exodus. (Being in the Middle East brings Exodus to life.) In Exodus 21: 12-13 it states “Anyone who strikes a man and kills him shall surely be put to death. However, if he does not do it intentionally, but God lets it happen, he is to flee to a place I will designate. Another verse in Exodus 4:11 “The Lord said to him, ‘Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord” Both of these verses show the control God has over both death and illness/disability.

Of course, volumes could be written on this subject, but briefly how do I reconcile the concept of an all loving, all powerful, and all knowing God allowing death and suffering. The answer: I absolutely believe that God is good. If at any point there is a situation where this does not appear to be true, I accept that I probably do not have all the information, especially the future results of the permissive will of God. This question was indirectly raised by the disciples in John 9:2-3 “His disciples asked Him, Rabbi who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”

I believe God is working in all of us to either bring us into right relationship with Him or refine the impurities out of us.

Job said it best after he lost almost everything including his children. Job 1:21 “…Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”

Soli Deo Gloria

I am flying over Romania in a C-141 on my way back to Iraq. I went to Germany to help care for a critical patient who was being aerovac’d to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center. This Marine was injured in an IED (improvised explosive device) blast. His lungs had been injured and he was placed on a new device that acts like an artificial lung. This patient had multiple injuries and was on a ventilator, with 4 chest tubes and was what we like to say was 4+ sick. We were not sure whether he would tolerate the air plane ride.

The reason that two doctors came from Germany to place the device was that his lungs were so damaged that he would decompensate every time that he was moved in his bed. The hope was that this device would enable him to stabilize to the point where we could move him; if not, he would probably die in Iraq. So, how many people were involved in this one soldier’s care? It starts with the medic on the ground. Then the Medic flying on the BlackHawk helicopter, took over, which has two pilots and a crew chief. The soldier was then taken to Ballad. There was a team who met the helicopter at the Hospital. He was then taken emergently to surgery where an anesthesiologist made sure he was properly sedated and paralyzed. The surgeon operates with the help of a nurse and a scrub tech. The Marine was then transferred to the ICU where he had multiple physicians, techs and nurses caring for him. When he wasn’t doing very well two physicians flew in from Germany to attempt placing the new device. Another trip to the OR for the device placement and getting his belly cleaned out. Then back to the ICU. He had a rocky course after the device was placed which required consultation, with surgeons, cardiologist and even a pediatric cardiologist. The pediatric cardiologist was called because this device mimics the physiology of lesions that children with complex heart disease may have.

After 4 days it was decided that it was time to try to get him to Germany. Now the CCATT team is mobilized. The team Critical Care Air Transport Team, is composed of a critical care physician, and critical care nurse and a respiratory therapist. I went along as a flight surgeon and to help if he deteriorated in flight and the CT surgeon that p[laced the device also would be there at his side during the entire process.

The team to move the patient from the hospital to the plane was quite impressive. It was necessary because of all the equipment that was required to keep this brave Marine alive. At one point going on to the plane there were at least ten people around this one litter, either holding the litter or holding equipment attached to the Marine. The plane was met by a crew of 7 who helped transfer the patient and at the ICU there were at least 8 nurses docs and techs waiting to provide care in the ICU. The transfer to Germany was successful and now he is recovering in a much better equipped ICU, with a lot less dust than in Ballad.

So why did I tell this story. Well, I think it illustrates a point that is at the very nature of God and how He cares for each of us as an individual.

All of this effort was made for one man. People may say what a waste of resources. Not in the military. Every one who serves knows that the medics will do whatever it takes to get them home. We are not always successful, but, you can trust that everything that can be done will be done. I am reminded of the conversation that Abraham had with God when God told him that he is going to destroy Sodom. Genesis 18. Abraham is trying figure out how many righteous people need to be in the city for it to be saved. Abraham started at fifty and made it down to ten people. Abraham never asked any number lower than ten. I imagine that at that point he realized how compassionate and just God was. Jesus also demonstrated this principle as He would purposely go out of his way to minister to a single person. I completely believe in this principle of the worth of a single person.

Lastly, I wanted to share another story that happened a couple of years ago. There were two soldiers in a South American country that had a car accident and ended up in a local hospital that was poorly equipped to care for their urgent medical needs. This information got back to the command in the states and an aircraft was scrambled to go pick them up. One of the patients was on a ventilator. The other had very serious injuries but was awake. The awake soldier saw all of these soldiers coming into the hospital. His thought at the time was, “Wow, whoever these people are coming to get must be very important, to come all this way.” At that instant the Colonel leading the team came up to the soldier and said, “Son, we are here to take you home.”

I was a part of a Patriot Detail the other day. That is when service members send off a fallen comrade. Today it was for an army specialist who died during recent operations.

I will include a wonderful description of the Patriot Detail that has previously been written. What I wanted to share were the thoughts that were going through my mind as we gathered for this solemn event.

As we fell into formation, soldiers from the specialist’s unit came to lead the formation. Just seeing them brought tears to my eyes. I could not imagine how hard it must be to say good-bye to a friend in this way. The Chaplain’s vehicle drove past our formation. Next, I caught site of the Humvee carrying the Flag draped casket. The US flag is so beautiful, covering a casket it takes on a sobering and sacred hue. We were called to attention and then ordered to march as we lead the procession to the plane that would carry this fallen hero home. Eight army soldiers were on point. We came to the plane, stopped and then faced in. We were called to present arms, a very slow salute to be held until the hero was on the plane. The casket was carried by four friends from his unit. The casket was loaded on the plane and we slowly lowered our salute. The formation then entered the aircraft to hear the final words from the chaplain. You could hear sniffles, the audible evidence of tears. My thoughts went to his family. They were waiting for their loved one to come home ever since they had received that visit from the official vehicle that no family wants to see in their driveway when a loved one is deployed. This reunion was not going to be the one they had dreamed about and longed for. No this is the one they had hoped and prayed would never happen. The family was hours away from receiving their loved one, under a flag.

My thoughts then went to my own family. What would it be like for them if I returned under a flag. What would it be like for my son, my wife, and my mom to wait at an airport for me to come off a plane. To come off not waving with smiles running for the touch of my most loved; but, rather carried off in a solemn processional. The emotions are very difficult to suppress. I cry even as I type this. It was harder when the casket was before me.

What a burden that this family is now carrying. My thoughts go to the comforting words of Jesus. “Come to me all those who are heavy laden.” I hope that this family will find the peace that only Christ can give.

The other day I had the opportunity to be a part of a medevac helicopter mission. There was an injured patient who was an urgent transport (typically these patients are on a ventilator and in need of more advanced care than can be provided) When the helicopter crew heard of the mission all they knew was that an urgent patient needed to be transported from Tikrit to Balad. Tikrit has the ability to do some surgery, but for more complicated cases they need to go to Balad. When we arrived at Sadaam’s home town. We landed and shortly after we landed another helicopter landed. This was going to be a tail to tail transfer i.e., the patient does not stop at the hospital. The team unloaded the patient from the other helicopter and loaded him onto our helicopter. It became obvious that this was an Iraqi or at least appeared to be. He had been shot in the neck and was going to be a quadriplegic. He was on a transport ventilator, which was breathing for him. There was also a monitor that showed a continuous read out of his pulse and blood pressure. I was monitoring his vital signs as we finished loading the helo. All of his values were borderline. The critical care nurse then boarded and took over the monitoring. During the flight his blood pressure dropped and he required a significant increase in his medications to keep his blood pressure at low normal values. When this occurred the pilots, always cognizant of the condition of the patients they are carrying, pushed the nose of the helicopter over to increase the speed. We arrived just minutes later in Balad at the Hospital. There was a team waiting for us and quickly took the patient to the ICU.

When I told the stories to others, I was asked whether he was a good guy or a bad guy. At that point I realized that I hadn’t considered that when I was transporting him. I was glad that I was able to focus on my role and not allow the side he was fighting on change the way I would care for him. This is probably one of the most difficult issues for doctors over here. They routinely may have the villain and the innocent in the same ICU. It is probably for the best that most of the time we do not know who is on which side.

Many may ask what are we doing taking care of the enemy. My response would come from a parable that Jesus taught us. In Luke 10: 25-37, Jesus tells of a story when a Jew had been robed and beaten. A Priest and a Levite pass him and do nothing to help. Then a man from Samaria, hated by the Jews, stops and cares for him and then makes arrangements for his continuing care. Jesus exalts this man as one who truly showed love for his neighbor.

So what about us medics in the armed forces taking care of these guys who are trying to kill us. We give them our blood and the best medical care that can be found in Iraq. What would they probably do if we were injured? Well if history is our guide they may drag us through the streets. I think that type of behavior would qualify them as the very least of our brethren. In Matthew 25: 40 Jesus states, “……’I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did it for me.”

The time in Iraq is a crucible for my faith and I need God’s gift of compassion and grace and mercy more than ever.

I wanted to share some of what is involved to get injured service members back home. When someone is injured they are evaluated to see what type of care they may need. Those appropriate, are treated and stay with their units. Those who need more sophisticated care come to one of the theater hospitals and then are either sent back to their unit after recovering or are sent forward to a hospital in Germany and then eventually home. This whole process can take less than 36 hours to get a patient from the battle to the plane going to Germany.

The other night, I was clearing soldiers to travel to Germany. There were more patients than usual due to the recent offensive in Northern Iraq along the Syrian border. I would ask each man how they were injured. They were very willing to tell their story as long as they were not in too much pain. Most of the guys had their arms and/or legs injured. There was a tank crew that ran over a double stacked mine that blew up the inside of the tank. The three guys inside all had varied injuries. One the guys had both legs and his arm injured. His buddy realized that he was injured and started pulling him out of the tank. He then realized that his leg and arm were injured and was able to help pull his buddy out using one leg and one arm. There were many stories like this. These two men were stabilized at the theater hospital and were now on their way to Germany. They were on litters and receiving significant pain meds. There were also many who had wounds that needed more care but they were able to walk.

When the plane arrives we take the wounded warriors to the plane. We load the litter patients first. There are many soldiers who volunteer from various units and come to help the medics. They consider this an honor to help their fellow soldiers. The litters are stacked three high tonight. There will be close to 40 patients going on the plane, 22 on litters. There will also be two patients on ventilators. We load the most serious of the litter patients last. He has external fixators holding both his legs together. I touch his shoulder as I say. “Have a safe trip home.” It brings tears to my eyes. This warrior has given much for his country, it is truly an honor to care for him.

Next we load the walking patients. As the bus pulls up, all the people involved in loading the litter patient form a tunnel. Much like what cheerleaders may do at a sporting event. However, this is much more somber. The people forming the tunnel applaud as the walking wounded board the bus with well wishes of: “Have a safe trip.” “Thanks for all you did.” “They’ll take good care of you in Germany.” “God Bless you.”

The team of medics have been working non-stop since receiving these patients earlier in the evening to get the patients out tonight. The plane now closes its cargo doors. It’s 0430. This will undoubtedly repeat tomorrow until there is peace and freedom in Iraq.

More thoughts to come

I had a very interesting day today. I was able to fly with an Air evacuation helicopter. The helicopter was a Blackhawk, specifically configured to fly the injured.

The first flight was a blood run. That is to take blood to bases that are in urgent need. On this trip we had three stops. The first was the major army hospital in Baghdad. The next stop was Baghdad International Airport and the third stop was Abu Ghraib Prison. Yes, that is the same prison that was in the news so much.

As we flew low and fast across the Iraq, I was impressed once again of the life that water brings. I first saw this when I was traveling to Sudan and was flying over the Nile. Within a ¼ mile of the river there was vegetation and every thing was lush past that it was desert and it appeared that there was nothing alive. It reminded me of what Jesus said, “Whoever believes in me, as the Scriptures have said streams of living water will flow from within him.” John 7:38. The river we were flying over in Iraq was the Euphrates. It is still hard for me to believe that I am here and what I am seeing. Along the Euphrates there was vegetation everywhere. I was also impressed at the number of Date Palms. There were literally thousands of them and many orchards. Every house seemed to have its own Date Palm. I can see why Dates play such an important role in their recipes.

The thought that came to mind when we were landing at Abu Ghraib was from the book of Matthew 5:43 “You have heard it said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute.” Many have said that giving blood is the gift of life. Over here when there is a call for blood, in minutes there will be a response from the troops. They realize that it may be one of their friends who needs blood or someday it may be their life that will be saved by the blood of another. When the troops give blood, they have no idea when and where it will be used. But they give out of a desire to help and care for others. During war blood is precious. Giving such a precious gift to an enemy to help save his life is a great example of living out this verse. Some of the patients who received blood are same ones who when they are on the medical ward will try to urinate on the techs and the nurses as they care for them. That reminds me of what Jesus said on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know not what they doing.” Luke 23:34.

There are many difficult situations here and I am very grateful that I have Jesus’ life to be an example, and the help of the Holy Spirit to live it out.

More thoughts on the second helicopter ride later

As I reread my last Thoughts from the Cradle, I thought it sounded a little harsher than I would have wanted it to. I think talking about leaving my family was having a real effect on me.

As we flew into Iraq airspace, we flew over Mosul, which is the ancient city of Nineveh. This is the city that Jonah was asked to go and speak to…Jonah 1:2 “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before Me.” As the story goes, Jonah refused to follow God’s direction and tried to escape by boat. A storm came and he admitted that it was his fault and the crew should throw him over board. They threw him overboard and the sea calmed. Jonah was swallowed by a whale. (there are at least two verified accounts of men being swallowed by whales and surviving as well as one dog). When he realized his true mistake called out to God. This one statement is quite profound. Jonah 2:8 “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.” He was then spit out on the beach and he went to Nineveh. I think we often make our own comforts an idol. We do not do what God is calling us to do because we may have to give up those comforts. I was given this quote from my father-in law who is one of my heros. He served in the Air Force and won the Distinguished Flying Cross for his service in Viet Nam. I think it applies very well to current attitude that many hold in the US.

“War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feelings which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.” - John Stewart Mill

I think this quote exemplifies how our selfishness and desire to protect ourselves can many times prevent us from achieving a higher good. I believe God is always looking for us to have absolute dependence on Him even if that takes us into harms way. As it says in the book of Philipians 1:21 To live is Christ and to die is gain.

I wonder in my own life how many times God has called me to do something and just like Jonah I ran from the task. Only to find myself in an even worse predicament.

More thoughts to come

What is my background? I am a Christian, Physician and proudly serve in the US Armed forces.

April 29

I said good bye to my wife and son today. This was a different goodbye. Mostly, because there is a very real sense that this could be the last goodbye with the next hello occurring in heaven. It was also very emotional to see all the other families saying goodbye to their loved ones. One specific family was a single mother of five boys who was leaving her children in the care of their grandparents. It was very difficult for the boys. They were struggling to see who got to sit on Mom’s lap. As I looked around the auditorium where we said our last good-byes, I was reminded at what a sacrifice the 100+ thousand deployed troops have made to the US, Iraq, and the world. Many of these same soldiers, airmen, Marines, and seamen qualify for governmental assistance to feed their families. I am proud to say I serve with these fine fighting folks. I am not going to fight. That is not my role. I am going to medically support the soldiers and the flyers and to help bring them home alive. I especially want to see the mother of five young boys come home.

More thoughts to come.